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Letters from parents
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My Story : I last saw my Daughter in June of 2006. We went to Chicago to see Blue Man Group and then to Ceveland to the RR hall of fame. I took her home after a 2 week visit. Little did I know this would be the last I would see her. Her Mother procceded to blame my now dead Father for molesting his Grand-Daughter. Then she started accusing me also. I received phone calls from children services, the police dept,etc. They did a two month investigation and came up empty..But because my Daughters' psychologist says she is too fragile to see me, I no longer have any contact with her..
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My Story : This is the most bizarre experience of my entire life and I have had more than my fair share so that actually says alot. I am on the internet tonight researching a name of a syndrome I never knew existed until a visit to my attorney's office today. He told me, " Check out parental alienation" So here I am... I had a "normal" childhood - Mom, Dad, three sisters. The usual fusses and fights all the way around and then one day I grew up and married a man that had an alcoholic Dad that raised him - four ex stepmothers - and a mother that had been kicked out of the picture when he was 7 yrs old. For the fifteen years we were together I was the primary caregiver of our children and my husband "traveled" during the week and when he felt like it came home on the weekends. Complete cliche - he had a second family in an adjoining city... So now I'm going through a divorce with said man and am watching him "recreate" his childhood. Two of my daughters truly never had much respect for me or my wishes. If I asked them to do something or told them they were not allowed a certain activity they would always call Daddy and he would contradict my decision. So in some way this is NOT a huge surprise but the vengence that they are "attacking" me with is. I just had my youngest mutilate my bra by cutting out the centers with a manicure sissor because I told her I would not leave my bed and get her new towels to use after she took a shower in my bathroom which I told her she could not use at 10:30 at night. Her response,"you can't touch me, my Dad said he will put you in jail." I've tried to take her to counselling, she calls her father on the cell phone which I provided for her, and I hear him tell her that she does not need it - that her mom is the crazy one. I take her to the doctor's and she won't cooperate with specimens the doctor requests for lab tests - once again, "you can't make me". I try to make her attend school regularly, she tells me that it is not her that will get into trouble but me that will have court fines and if I "touch" her her dad will put me in jail...She is 5'2 and 170 pounds (weighs more than me) I couldn't manhandle her into the car if I wanted to... My soon to be ex husband allowed my 17 yr old daughter to skip school and meet her 21 yr old boyfriend (which I had forbidden her to see)at his apartment. When I found out I met her at school and took away the car keys - I'm driving, she is in the passenger seat and then decides she is going to JUMP out of a moving vehicle. I fight my way through traffic and slow down enough that by the time I get to the curb she is not seriously injured but does have bruises. She runs away to him - he gives her the keys to his jeep to drive. She has 4 WEEKS to graduation (1 yr early with an acceptance to Baylor as pre-med)and he is promoting her skipping! The next day she ransacks my room looking for the prom tickets I bought for her and then she takes my car keys. She bites me when I try to get them away from her, we end up on the floor, I ask my 16 yr old to call the police and when they arrive she turns sugar sweet and they almost arrest me because of the bruises from the previous day. Thank God I had teeth marks on my arm from where she bit me. Funny thing to be thankful for. My "ex" husband gives her a keg party on Prom night, gets her a tatto on graduation night, he gives her the money to get a lawyer and emancipate herself, he sets her up in an apartment with her boyfriend and promptly leaves her with my 12 yr old that also decides that Daddy is the one she wants to live with and since she's 12 the courts let her make the decision for that and if I disagree it's a costly court battle. Which I can't afford since when my husband decided to leave he siphoned all of our funds into a separate account. He tells the courts, "Oh no, I live there too" But everytime I call or see my youngest she tells me her dad is in Austin with his girlfriend/fiance and her two girls. I cannot afford a private detective or a court battle. These two daughters feel free enough to call me a bitch and to tell me how their "dad" gives them hundreds of dollars and credit cards to use as they wish (which he now claims as community debt). He writes emails to me that says I do not respond to his calls so that we can constructively work out problems with our daughters. I finally got through to him today and said that was not true, I do call him back. He says my number shows up private so he won't answer it, I tell him I leave messages on his voice mail and then he tells me "well, I never check my voice mail anyway" Consistently, he accuses me of child abuse - talk about being side swiped out of left field and it's like my two daughters are waiting like rabid dogs to make the same accusations and bring "mom down". Why? I have read and read and read every piece of literature I can find on divorce and the reprecussions. All I can assume is my husband "wants" my girls alienated from their mother. That is what he knows. His comfort zone. I cannot have contact with these girls just for sheer survival. I have to build a new life after investing the previous 15 yrs in this marriage. Now I will not have a retirement, savings and from what I see coming through the court papers - a whole lot of debt...The last thing I need is jail also for false accusations. I also have 1 daughter that is still with me, loves me and depends on me plus a son that is grown and cannot believe what is happening to his two other sisters. We think it is the invasion of the body snatchers.
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My Story : I have 4 children ages 13, 10, 8, and 5. I finally am able to put a "title" to my feelings. My Oldest child is so angry with me and can not explain why. My ex-husband has always used him to get information, even when we were married, about what I was doing and who would come over during the day. This behavior has become worse after I decided I needed to leave the relationship. My children know of every court date and the contents of it. I am excluded from I.E.P. meetings, school meetings, counseling appointments, Doctor's appointments, and the list goes on. I call the schools, counselors, and Doctors almost weekly to get the information that is necessary to be apart of my childrens. My ex usually tells me of appointments after the fact or a few minutes before to make sure I almost can not make them, or not at all. He has my children scheduled in so many sports and activities that over-lap on my time with the kids. We recently had a Sloution focused evaluation and my ex-husband got her on his side. I believe my oldest son is so brainwashed that he cant see the manipulation and control his father has over him. My children are constantly being "resued" from their mistakes and even from me without cause. I have known this behavior for the whole time but never knew there was a name for it. I am so releived to have a title for it and that it is wrong, not only in my eyes but in so many others. This is so unfair to our children. We are not "allowed" to have a loving, close relationship because of the hate and vindictiveness of my ex-husband. My fiance's ex girlfriend is now in contact with my ex-husband and she is doing the same thing my ex is. We are getting a double whammie. My fiance and I share the same lawyer but are not getting the results we need for our childrens sake. We can not afford anyone else. Please if anyone has suggestions on how to get this information in front of the judges and evaluators please please please email me. I would also like to help get this information around the world. Our childrens desreve for the truth to be heard!!! Thank you.
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My Story : This is a story about my grand-daughter. It is so heartbreaking to know that she has gone through and is still going through verbal abuse from someone who I love- my son. I have listened to the verbal abuse and how he talks to her mother (they are not together as a couple) in front of the daughter. I have wittnessed this many times and confronted my son about it, but now it seems I am the target and my grandaughter knows no better. She is growing up in a verbally abusive environment and there is nothing I can do about it. I have spoken to my son about the way he talks. He can not seem to hear me. I have called social services. So has the mother but that got us nowhere. Let me give you an example of the verbal abuse my grandaughter goes through. On Christmas eve day I picked up my grandaughter from her mothers place. We were to spend time with her cousins Christmas eve. Knowing that the kids will probably want to play outside, I suggested that she bring her snow pants along (now I wish I had not read on). Well we had a great time with my grandaughter. My daughter has two boys and recently had a baby girl, so imagine how much fun it was for my daughter and I to shop for a girl age 6. My grandaughter was having a great time playing with her cousins and with her gifts but she had to go back home so she could spend time with her fathers family on Christmas day. Well, Christmas morning I recieved a call from my grandaughters mother asking if we had my grandaughters snow pants because my grandaughters father was on the phone upset because she did not have her snow pants there when he was picking her up. I recall the phone conversation and it just chills me. I could hear him yelling obsentities at my grandaughters mother and telling her how worthless she was while she had the phone up to her ear. I asked her where my grandaughter was she said she was in the truck with her father. He was in his truck yelling at her telling her she was a worthless piece of ---- and other words I won't type. I told her to give him the phone hoping I could calm him down by the distraction. Well it was just the opposite. He got even madder. He threw the phone across the street (during this time it was scary because it got very quiet). She went to retrieve the phone and I heard her saying to him "that was real mature of you and that she was sorry about the snow pants." She also said Ya Ya I know I'm a piece of ---- and worthless (she always says this to him I assume to shut him up but it can not be healthy for her to continue to hear this from him. The language he used and the loud yelling that I could hear so well even through the phone just makes me so crazy. As a parent I think -what did I do that taught my son this behavior? Where did he learn this? Why does he seem so angry? My thought was for my grandaughter sitting there listening, scared because everything is happening so fast. My parents are so angry. Is this my fault? What do I do, what did I do? My grandaughter was sitting there while my son was acting like a maniac over a pair of snow pants. My grandaughter has had her winter jacket taken from her because she did not hang it up. She has to pay her parents too because she left her clothes on the floor. She was told that if she was in the way (by the girlfriend) that she would just get stepped on. My mother sent her a birthday card with money in it. She had to give it to her Dad for washing her clothes. He stopped by my work and stood there and nagged about my grandaughter doesn't take care of her stuff while my grandaughter was there. I had the pleasure of having my grandaughter over last summer. We would stay up nights talking about things. I would try to comfort her when she would cry about things that happened and how mean they (her father and his girlfriend) treated her. If I had the money I would take her away from him, but I know this would not solve the problem. I also know that more time goes by and my grandaughter doesn't get the help she needs to work through this, the more chance my grandaughter will not have such a wonderful life as an adult. I pray for them all of them. May the lord help each one of them. Loving mother and grandmother.
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My Story : My story starts in 1992. Back then, my wife and I were temporarily living in the U.S. We came to the U.S., because I received a postdoctoral fellowship with a well known professor. In the middle of our stay in the U.S., my daughter was born. When she was almost one year old, we came back to our home country. Soon after that, my wife started pushing me to go again to the U.S. She would find hundreds of reasons why we should go to the U.S. again. For me, going there meant having to quit my job at a major university in my home country, where I was appointed an assistant professor. Eventually, I surrendered and agreed to find another postdoctoral position in the U.S. We agreed to spend there between two and three years and come back to our home country. We came to the U.S. again in 1994. My daughter was very strongly attached to me and I was very much attached to her. At the same time, her relationship with her mother was not very good. My wife was always accusing our daughter of being lazy, not honest, etc. She would punish our daughter more than once for the same "crime", and wanted her to be perfect in everything. There was no room for fun. Everything had a clear educational purpose. There was no room for mistake. People who saw my wife and me with our daughter (including the care providers) would call the relationship between my daughter and her mother as rather cold and distant, whereas the relationship between her and me as warm and relaxed. After having spent another three years in the U.S., I wanted to go back to our home country, just as we agreed before, but my wife was looking for excuses to stay longer in the States. There were many arguments between us. At some point, I found out that she secretly started an action to change her immigration status in the U.S. to a more permanent one. I realized she was not going to go back to our home country. It was not the first time that she was conspiring behind my back and doing something that was seriously affecting my life. In the past, I forgave her these events, but this time it was too much and after approximately 4 years spent in the U.S., I decided to leave. I obviously wanted to take our daughter with me, but I suspected my wife would not let me do it. Needless to say, I decided to leave the country secretly. My daughter wanted to go with me. One day, I was told I would need a permission from my wife to take our daughter to Poland. This is when I told my wife I wanted to leave and I asked her for the permission to take our daughter. As expected, her initial answer was no. However, after a couple of days I got from her two permissions - one to travel back to our country, another one to travel with her all over the world. Without going into details, one day in summer 1998, I tried to leave the United States. However, I was stopped at the airport by the police. My wife filed for a divorce. According to her testimony, I wanted to kidnap our daughter against my daughter's will and against her will. Also, I was pictured as an abusive husband who forced my wife to write and notarize these permissions. I was devasteted. The court hearing was to happen 10 days from the date they stopped me. Back then, I had no more resources in the U.S. Our bank accounts were blocked, I did not have a place to stay, already had no job in the U.S. and my wife was not willing to discuss the issue with me. I felt I lost everything. One day before the hearing, I left the country. I contacted my wife on my departure date, as I wanted to say goodbye to our daughter. My wife was surprised I was leaving, as if I had any choice. When I came back to my home country, I was severely depressed and I cried every day. I could afford calling my daughter only once a week and talk to her for 10-20 minutes. During one of these conversations, my daughter started to cry and said she loved me very much and she was missing me very much. I promised her to do whatever I could to get back to the U.S. I started negotiating with my wife the conditions of my return to the U.S., because I was afraid to do so, given all my "crimes" and a significant debt that I acquired, having to pay my ex-wife's attorney's fees and the child support, which was too high for my Polish salary. Also, the only right I had was to visit my daughter under supervised conditions. Back then, my ex-wife was very cooperative and she told me she never considered supervised visits an option. Eventually, I was able to come back to the States. When I came back to the U.S., as it happened many times in the past, my ex-wife started gradually breaking all her promises. For the next two years, my visits were happening in the presence of my ex-wife, but getting a visit was becoming progressively more difficult. At the same time, she would do everything to make my visits as unpleasant as possible. Many visits ended prematurely, as I supposedly did not follow the rules she introduced. However, whenever my ex-wife could not see it, my daughter was hugging me and saying: "Daddy, I love you very much". After these two years, I realized my ex-wife would not let me have more visits. Then, I voluntarily contacted the agency responsible for my supervised visits and requested the visits. For the next two years, I had one 3-hour visit a month, because my ex-wife would not let me have longer visits, as they supposedly interfered with my daughter's school. I did not skip a single visit, even though I had to travel from another state. I believed everything was still all right, as I could feel my daughter still loved and needed me. In the meantime, I was working on changing my legal rights to my daughter. I wanted to have unsupervised visits. My ex-wife was constantly sabotaging my effort to change my legal rights to my daughter. Among others, she tried to sue me for not having paid her attorney's fees. In fact, I was sending her checks, and she was sending them back. In the fall of 2003, a date for mediation was scheduled. Around this time, my ex-wife fired her lawyer and was openly saying she was not going to participate in the mediation. She did not show up for mediation. Then, during my last supervised visit, my daughter suddenly changed. She was rude and hateful. She said she had better things to do than meeting me. She said I was selfish and a liar. The next month, a court hearing happened. Just as promised, my ex-wife would not show up for the hearing. By default, I got the standard posession rights for parents residing more than 100 miles from the child's home. Then, probably because the child support was not increased by the judge, my ex-wife hired another lawyer and requested another hearing. She said she did not know anything about the previous hearing. The judge granted her another hearing, even though there was an extensive and documented evidence that she was properly cited and that she was openly stating she was not going to participate in "the court activities, because she did not have time". The new hearing did not happen, because the case was settled during a mediation in February 2004. According to the new order my daughter was to undergo a therapy. My visits were supposed to be initially supervised and then over a period of 8 months, my daughter was to travel to my home. My ex-wife was ordered a therapy to "exctricate herself from the troubled relationship" between me and my daughter. I was ordered the therapy to learn about the emotional needs, etc., of my daughter. My ex-wife was ordered to send me every week an e-mail update on what was happening in my daughter's life. She was also supposed to facilitate the communication between my daughter and me. Where am I now? Out of around 150 e-mails my ex-wife was supposed to send to me, I got only 13. My ex-wife never enrolled herself in therapy. When my daughter's therapy started bringing first positive results after a couple of months, my ex-wife discontinued the therapy saying that the therapist "was torturing" my daughter. She took my daughter to another therapist. The new therapist discontinued the "therapy" after two one-hour sessions and was not really willing to discuss the issue with me. My numerous attempts to talk to her about the emotional state of my daughter resulted in one eight- or ten-line letter, where she stated my daughter's emotional health was all right, and one few minutes conversation, which was not explaining anything more than the letter. The supervisor of my visits quit before the unsupervised visits were to take place without giving an explanation. As somebody stated, "she has a very good business relationship" with the therapist who discontinued my daughter's therapy... My daughter hates me. My only way of contacting her is e-mail, as my phone calls are never answered. The e-mails are not answered either, but I have reasons to believe that at least some of them are read. However, I also suspect that my ex-wife may have a password to my daughter's mailbox. When I called my daughter to wish her a Merry Christmas the last year, an answering machine started, but I was disconnected before I finished recording the message. I immediately called again, but this time not even the answering machine answered my call. Disconnecting me also happened several times in the past. I have not seen my daughter for 22 months (since April 2005). Until now (January 2007) I have been having therapy that I believe I do not need. Both my ex-wife and her husband, whom she started dating no later than two months after I left the U.S. in 1998, have been actively indoctrinating my daughter and turning her against me. In addition to calling me selfish and a liar, my daughter says that her mother's husband is ten times better as a father than I am and that the only thing she ever got from me was "this little sperm". In spite of my numerous requests and inquiries, my lawyer has not done anything to change the current situation. I am ready to fire him, but I made a mistake by not firing him early enough, as now the alienation may have gone too far to ever repair the relationship with my daughter. I do urge everybody who is reading my story to learn as much about parental alienation as possible and do whatever it takes to stop it. I sometimes tend to focus on my own pain and suffering, but books by Dr. Warshak, Dr. Darnall on PAS, as well as scientific articles on PAS, always remind me that it is not me but my daughter who is the true victim. Many times, when I had no hope and I wanted to quit, reading these books gave me the strength to continue my difficult parenting. I do want everybody to know that PAS strikes suddenly and takes an unexpecting parent by surprise. When it happens, it might already be too late, but I also want whoever suffered from PAS not to loose hope and do whatever it takes to let your children know that you love them, even when they hate you and don't believe in your love.
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My Story : I noticed my son stopped saying "we're home" every time I would pull into the driveway. He was just beginning to talk. He mimicked me at first when I would say, We're home! "I no like San Frisco" " Not my home." started to replace. "we're home". That started a sixteen year long insidious, at times blatant, indoctrination by my son's father. My son never wanted to be with me. His father and I broke up when he was 8 months old. His father got an order to be able to visit him every day. Even for twenty or thirty minutes at the park or at his pre-school, eventually. My son would scream hysterically when his father would bring him home after a visit. I would have to peel my son off of his father. My son would cry hysterically for hours until he fell asleep and then would wake up and appear "settled". Once he fell asleep on the bed with me and had draped his arm around me. When he woke up and saw that it was me, he yanked his arm away and started to cry. This went on for four or five years. When I would pick him up at his fathers house he would greet me at the door with "what do you want"? This would be after not having seen me for 2-3 days. Once, when I went to pick him up at his father's house, he was waiting for me on the bottom of the steps. When he saw me walking up the stairs he started getting hysterical. His father started to film this. His father had a few friends sitting around wathching. I remember my son was wearing yellow overalls. He was about 2 and a half. I could go on and on. SHould I? MY son left home this past summer at age 15 and a half. He said. I only live with you because I feel sorry for you. I identify with my dad not you. He then sent me an e-mail that said (amongst other things) You are an unstable person, who has difficulty taking care of herself, let alone a teenager. I am supporting him and his dad now after his dad filed a motion against me for child support. His dad has a wife up in Portland, Oregon. They are all allied with one another. I bought a house for my son and myself last Spring. I work two jobs and now am going to probably have to sell my house due to the massive child support payment I am being ordered to pay. My son has spoken to me maybe half a dozen times since moving out this past August. He told me to "get on with my life". He has nothing to do with my daughter, his sister. MY mother, his grandmother. Our family dog is dying and he shows no interest in saying good bye let alone any sadness. He exhibits total lack of empathy for anybody that is related to me or our family. I have had chronic anxiety and am just now starting to feel dislike for him. I am faced with my wages being garnishe, having to sell my house and or going to prison, according to my attorney, if I do not pay the child support which is exorbitant. My son was in an accident that he caused after his father left him alone for two days. He almost killed two people, three including himself. Car accident. This happened two months ago. I only found out, by chance, when the police called in the middle of the night to come and retrieve him from the police station. The police told me that the father led him to believe that my son did not have a mother. He found out only when the police told my son he would release him to a border in the apartment that they all shared. My son replied, "good, because I don't get along with my mother." You have a mother?, the police asked??? My son's father is not being reprimanded, my son will probably be slapped on the wrist, but I will potentially go to jail?? Garnished wages??? Sell my home??? Yes, if "you are looking for justice, don't look for it in a courtroom". THanks for listening |
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My Story : my husband of 22 years had an affair and a drug problem. we have a 21 year old daughter and he told her about his drug use and his affair. he even introduced this woman to her. she kept his secret. we were divorced on july 11, 2006. our daughter still talks to him. she has not spoken a word or seen me in a year. even if she is 21, she is still our child and he has brain washed her. yes, even adult children can fall victim to this. i am suffering and have forgiven her but i pray everyday that i can see her again. so please let others know that it is not just young children it can even be your adult children. i have all the evidence you would ever want against this man. i have enough to stop his girlfriend from ever seeing her children again but i know how it feels. so i won't do that to the woman. she is just as wrong as my ex husband. she has 2 boys that are in school, age 14 and 16. i have begged with my ex husband to make this right. i don't know where else to turn. they tell me that becasue our daughter is 21 there is NOTHING that i can do. i just wanted to voice my story. there is so much more to tell and i just don't have time to go into all the details here. thank you very much!
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My Story : I am and have beed adedicated parent and support payer. Despite court orders and Legal Separation agreements, I have not seen or spoken with my teenage children in six years.I have been informed that my ex-wife (their custodial parent has changed their last name to her maiden name.My ex is getting married again today and will likely change my kids' last name to her new spuses.Why can't this be legally challenged? Men (and children ) seem to have no rights in these matters.
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My Story : I am 52 years old. Almost 10 years ago my husband of almost 20 years decided he wasn't happy anymore and moved to our second home in Palm Desert. He was a orthodontist and me a dental hygienist that supported him through graduate school and became disabled from my occupation from overuse. We started our family and I did not need to work but worked as his office manager in the orthodontic practice. We had three beautiful boys which I took care of full time. My friends or teachers never even met the boys father because he worked long hours and did not come home until the boys were in bed. On the weekends, he slept in until noon and spent most of his time doing his pleasures and rarely spent time with the boys. Even when I would be sick, he refused to drive the boys to school when the school was only a few block from his office. After he left the family, I was left with no money and because of legal issues did not get a hearing for 6 months. The boys and I had to live on credit cards. He changed the locks on the office so I no longer could be involved with the business. We were orderd to make a parenting plan and he was able to have the boys every other weekend and half of the vacation periods. I fully cooperated knowing how important it was for the boys to have on going contact with their father. After a 730 evaluation I was given primary physical custody. I continued to follow the visitation plan and attended a court ordered parenting class. The father did not attend. He instead had the court order us to have private counseling with a DR. A. L. She allowed my x-husband to verbally and emotionally abuse me during the sessions. We did fine tune the parenting plan and nothing was ever written on paper. I had to cooperate with the vistation even though it involved his numerous flavors of the month and his parents watching them while he vacationed with his conquests. After the divorce was finalized, he had been living with a women for 3-4 months, a patient of his 20 years younger with 2 girls in Orange COunty, he immediately married her. As soon as this happened he did not follow the visitation orders and would cancel at the last moment or request them at the last moment. He demanded I do what he said or he would file for custody. I did what he wanted and he still file for custody and accused me of not allowing him visitation when it was him that changed plans and I could not change mine. He used this to infuence the boys that I was not allowing them to see him. I changed all the scheules to adjust to his and what his new wife wanted and he filed for custody. He had arranged to have the boys the month before they saw the mediator. He also paid to have a private investigator watch me at home. I had a boyfriend, a retired fireman, that would stay over when the boys were at their fathers. The mediatiors were fooled by my x-husband. The boys were 17, 15, 13 and were allowed to choose and they asked to move to their fathers. Of course they were promised they could have surfboards and cars, etc. This was after the oldest had already moved to the fathers because I caught him with Marijuana and a bong and had the two older ones drug tested. Both of them tested positive and they had been on total restriction until they tested negative again. Their father used this against me and the mediators agreed that it was against the boys rights that I tested them for drugs. Of course, the father is a marijuana user and I suspect he was supplying them with the marijuana. That did not matter to the court but that they had the boys could choose at their age and they would not split the boys up. THe boys had been brainwashed by their father. I was only given 10 % visitation, lost all child support except for 100/month and lost some of my alimony. To arrange visitation, I had to go through his attorney and my attorney. It cost me $600 to arrange a week after Christmas. The two younger ones came but the older one was working now.( He would not work when he was living with me. He was told that I was to pay for everything by the father). I agreed to all the specifics for the visitation but the father did whatever he wanted and did not follow the agreement. When I returned the boys after the week(they behave badly and made the visit miserable) there was no parent at home and the oldest was caring for everyone including the 2 stepsisters. A few days latter I went on a vacation to Maui and ran into my x and his new wife. I asked who was watching the children. They had no answer. But the new wife blurped out that one of my sons had just been expelled from high school and it was all my fault. No one was watching the children 4 teenagers plus one 11 and my son had given his antidepressant medication to another classmate and ended him in hospital. Of course there was no parents at home but the dad just called the school to take care of things. After that the dad had the youngest call and say he did not want to come for visitation since his brothers could not come. Now the two older ones were working. I would call every week and rarely get to talk to anyone. They did not return my calls. I never was thanked for gift on birthdays or christmas. Now for the last 6 months I have not gotten to talk to anyone except the oldest who is in the Coast Guard in Oregon. I drove to visit him in Sept. this year. We communicate now that he is out of his fathers house. It is still rough. He will not talk about his feelings or his brothers. The new wife will answer the phone and has told me that it is up to the boys to call me back and she doesn't know what I have done for them not to call me. I have no money to persue going back to court. They live in a gated community. The only call I have had is the boys ask if I have any of their money which I do not. Evidently the father tells them lies to get them to think I have money. I have been extremely Ill and have filed for disability. The emotional hurt I feel for the loss of my boys is more than I can bare at times. The stress is contributing to my illness. My x husband is a sick narcissistic personality and most likely a borderline personality disorder. He has tricked the boys, his new wife,and the legal system to treat me like I'm the enemy and have done something wrong. What can I do? I have done nothing wrong and am trying to get well. I have been the only parent for the boys and now they have no suppervision and have not realized that they have been lied to. None of the boys will be going to college as was planned. The father has alot of money and spends it on himself. He would spend thousands of dollars on legal help to keep me from seeing the boys.
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My Story : To start I myself was alienated by my father,I then new in my heart how much this hurt me. I always waunted to have a wife for my children,but the ways of life dose not work the way you would like! I got deviorced my child 3 years old and autstic. I've always spoke good of her but her and her parents have played games with me! I now got remarried in 2003, she already had a baby girl who I babysat for about 9 months. Her mother was coming over to my apartment at all times of the night starting fights with her daughter due to her staying with me, so she can't have total control over her daughter. We then got married in feb of 2003 had a baby boy sept. 23 2003. Her mother still very controlling almost crazy like then, we had another child aug. 16 2005. I thought my wife had postpardem depression I phoned her doctor to see, the doctor put her on zoloft after the 1st baby she said that its past postpardem she should she her regular doctor. She never did in the the time I learned how her life was as a child, I new her sister who was killed in a car accident when she was only 10 years of age she said her mother treared her with hate and didnt pay much attention of her. NOW on nov.,26 2006 my wife as I can see and study is sick with bipolar mania or some kind of brain disorder. Its the hardest thing Iv'e delt with she accused me of doing things I never thought of doing, as well as her brother and others including herself department of family services now have custody of my babies who I cry every night for and my beautiful wife is once agian back with her controlling mom who started this in the first place (well her tragic life) so I know how this can cause someone to fall apart later in life and destroy a hole family of 6. All I do is pray to god for help. O' also cry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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My Story : hello,im the mother of 3 beautiful children m. 12,s. 9,and mu. 4,my ex is from arabic backround muslim,he mentally abusived towards the children and i and he is using the kids to hate me ,disrespect me and mentaly disturbing their mentaly towards me ,all the symptoms that you has describe of(hap)from telling them that the mother is not good ,not letting them talk to me ,telling them the mother is trying to poison them ,he has violate all rights as a mother with me ,please write me my story is very long and datailed.
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My Story : ... i'm a dad of 2 intelligent and beautiful girls (15 & 12) .. i haven't seen them in 10 months and haven't spoken with them in 8 months (they currently "hate me").. i live 2 minutes drive from them .. i am a good person and a great dad and shared in their lives and provided for most of their care as they grew, ..most importantly i showered them with love and affection .. married to a controlling person and divorced in 2004 and my ex has made extreme efforts to sabotage the joint custody arrangement (accusations of abuse,restraining orders,protection orders etc.) ..every day is like dealing with the death of your child ,there is no closure .. every young girl that i see requires me to take a second look, to see if it might be one of my children ... people think that i'm a child abuser because i don't have a relationship with my children .. PAS has been determined by an independent expert but our gov't agencies and family court system believe in "status quo" , they just don't "get it" and don't care that my kids mental/emotional present/future wellbeing is being impacted ...it's a disgusting thing to do to a child and only someone selfish and malicious would do such a thing .. not in the best interest of my children and not something done by a mentally competent parent ... "girls, I love you and always remember that"
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My Story : Ho! thank god a name for this abuse. Iv been watching my 2 children & myself suffer from this for 12 yrs, of no one listtening to me not even my phyciatrists or counsellers. I have done a cartoon manuscript on this very subject however it is based on alianation & my ex husbands predjudice & top of mind myth coping skils with my bipolar disorder. also passing on the same myths & lack of compassion & acceptance to my children. This was fasilitated by a family court judge who in her missguided wisdom gave custody to a father with an alcholic & domestic violance past & AVO record. He said he was no longer drinking or violant & she beleived him no questions asked nor any court orderd counselling to insure my childrens safty or his lack of anger control towards me being channeld through the children. That of cause is exactly what happend but no one would help me or my children in turn with what I calld child anger & abuse channeling. So I wrote my cartoon hoping some one would listen. some of the cartoon strips were published by a Queens land Australian mental health magazine calld "Balance' untill it changed managment & the new managment deemd it too controversial & would no longer publish my cartoon called "Stiggy & me." My children beleive & say "Because the judje gave their father custody , I am a bad perant !" With my ex's controling nature at the four they deny me my lifes jurny & judge every thing I do with what they feel is their right to condem me & punish me by with holding contact as they see fit. Such a chain of events (of wich I'v only touch the surface of.) after the trama of lossing my 2 beautifull children & there father refussing me any respect or input concerning my childrens welfare & development. dispight having the same do's & dont's guid book I was given apon family court divorce mediation. When I have tryd to approach him He just says "I dont want to get involved." & lets the women he was having a self confessed afair with at the time of our break up deal with me in her also abusive , controling & condisending manner. My children now will only have anything to do with me on their own turms,& expect me to accsept their dission to disrespect me with out knowing any facts. They also dont or want understand there's two sides to a story. They just want me to burden all the blame as they see it. This has not only alianated me but tought my children stigma & impeaded my rehabilitation for all these years I see my children go from happy dispight the domestic violance to tramatized, unforgiving, blaming & cynical. My ex's partner has also listend in on my contact phone calls with the children with out my knowledg. Then addmitted to it to tell me to stop telling my children "I miss them & to stop asking them how they feel about a surten sit uation.)She denys us any privacy in our communication via letters & emails as well & my children say this is "Accseptable" I beleive they see it as normal in view of my illness wich their father Tells me he "Needs to protect them from it." He has also cald me sick, & evil. Please for give my poor spelling I have a learning disability as well. wich they also like to throw in my face.when I email or write to them obout any issus I have about the children. Great communiction stopper. I would be happy to send you my cartoon manuscript if you think it could be usefull in the fight against PAS. It is very long & i cant aford to photo copy it but I would be happy to intrust it to you think if it could help. Thank you very much for taking the time to read this. More power to you & Follow aflicted. kind regards.
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My Story : I am currently employed as a public school administrator. I
graduated from a respected University with a Masters Degree in Exercise
Science/Education Administration. Prior to my current position, I had
the opportunity to play major college basketball and professional
football. Many people have asked "how did you go from playing college
basketball to a career in professional football?" The answer is actually
a bit complex, however, can best be described "why?" Because I had an
intense desire to compete and challenged myself to a lifelong dream to
be a professional athlete. I also wanted to support a growing family. At
the time I was married and had two (2) children. After my football
career ended we had two (2) additional children and although my wife of
twenty (20) years and I experienced problems typical of most marriages,
I felt our commitment was solid. Unfortunately, my commute to work as an
administrator (200 miles round trip) over a 4 1/2 year period of time
led to severe exhaustion. Coupled with mounting financial problems I was
determined to move my family to where my job was, or at least half way
to cut down the commute. My wife decided it was more important to keep
our two youngest children sheltered in a small town where they feel
safe. Her response, "it's not that long of a commute . . . people do it
all the time." While I agree that sheltering children in a small town is
not the worst thing in the world, I am a firm believer that a family
should be together. As the sole income provider, my family should be
where my place of employment was, and still is. She disagreed and in
September of 1999, we separated and later divorced. Divorce was a choice
between myself and my ex-wife. I have an awesome job with a great staff,
and live in a nice community. I chose to remain in my current position.
My ex-wife chose to stay with her small circle of friends and shelter
the children in a small town environment. Our choice to divorce was
tough, especially for my children. However, what happened afterward is
beyond comprehension. The once loving relationship I had with my two
youngest (and second oldest) children has slowly eroded through
continual efforts by my ex-wife to alienate them from their father. I
have sought assistance from the legal system with a court appointed
guardian ad litem. I have attended counseling, attempted mediation, and
sought assistance from Christian leaders who have a profound influence
on my ex-wife. These efforts can best be described with a very simple,
yet direct question I asked my ex-wife during mediation; "are you going
to support my role as a father to our children?" Her answer . . . "NO!"
Just Another FAD (Father Against Discrimination) will offer insight
related to the psychological term "Parental Alienation." While this is
not a new term, it is definately misunderstood by many individuals who
have been entrusted with the difficult task of assisting children
through the choices their parents have made. Parental Alienation exists
and it can adversely affect the minds of young children. I dedicate this
and future postings to any father who has experienced similar attempts
by their ex-spouse to alienate the children from their lives. Parental
Alienation is wrong and must be addressed. Research has demonstrated the
importance of having both parents actively involved in their children's
lives. Therefore, it's time to end the discrimination against any father
who desires the positive relationship they once enjoyed with their
children.
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I am the father of two children aged 15 and 13 years. Since my wife left me for someone else, about 18 months, our children were one week with me, the other week with my -ex. Everything went well untill I met someone new. My kids were happy, and they liked the new situation at my place. Strange enough, since a few weeks later, my wife started to keep the children away from me, without giving a reason. At this moment, we are fighting for a court the custody of both children. I can only hope that the judge is aware of what parental alienation means. The few times, I can talk to the children, it seems they are not mine anymore. They react completely different, as if I were a bad father in the past, which is absolutely not the case. My ex punishes the children when they talk positive over me, they told me once in the early beginning of this alienation. The biggest problem for me is proving that this is a case of parental alienation.
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My Story : My family and I are from New Orleans. We have been living in Ohio for the past 7 years. My husband died February of this year. I am writing about a children's service worker trying so hard to keep my children from me that she has perjured herself as well as filed false reports with the county to keep my children in foster care where they were being neglected and mistreated. I have pictures, video, and recordings to prove my allegations that the court as well as the GAL having no clue exists to show how children are being stolen from loving families in Ohio.My children are autistic, but highly functional. My child has denied allegations that she supposedly ONLY told to this social worker, but denied to the police and the GAL. I need to expose the tortures going on here. The expert witness is basically the social worker, who has said in the court allegations, before my child was examed by the hospital that my child was sexually abused and named the family friend as the perpetrator. She also claimed under oath that the police botched the investigation, although Akron has one of the highest rates for prosecutions of sexual predators. I was given a case plan 44 days after my children were taken from school. And had it rewritten because this worker and I as well as her supervisors didnt feel the case plan was appropriate for myself. I completed the case plan. We go to court and on the stand this intake worker states she rewrote my case plan again and she and the GAL have been chatting secretly. Even the Child services here who says my friend, who they said is indicated for the sexual abuse and domestic abuse on myself and family, they added him to my case plan. Knowing that the GAL would never recommend my children come home if he was anywhere around. The most damning thing about all of this, my lawyer at the time had me cop to a plea if they dropped the sexual and endangerment he had me plea to the abuse and neglect. Which at the time I wasnt aware I was waving certain rights. I even told the magistrate, "I guess so, its not like I have a choice." This is a total nightmare. My children and I just lost their DAD in February. Now they have basically lost me. Since on the case plan the goal is reunification. Although it has been quoted as saying they social worker will do any and everything in her power to take my children away from me and put them up for adoption. I have video and tapes and documented evidence as to everything thats going on here in my case. They even know I have loads of evidence, but they told so many lies they arent sure which lies I have on record.
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My Story : I could write volumes about the past 7 years of systematic alienation by my ex-wife with respect to my daughter . This is really hitting home as this will be the first christmas that I won't see my daughter ... the pain I feel in my heart is sickening. I haven't seen my daughter since August and contact via phone has dwindled to nest to none . In fact she has turned her against me and I'm to blame in her eyes for not seeing me . I'll post another letter when I have more time , the alienation process and the alienation itself nearly destroyed me mentally and it doesn't take much to reopen the wounds. Christmas just feels so strange , I thankfully have a loving wife and a baby on the way . Writing this somehow helps me vent out frustration - thanks
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My Story : It started 3 years ago, when I left my (then) husband. He would yell and scream at me in front of our daughter...of course I would always ask him to stop and to save it for when we were alone. Of course, this did no good as he did whatever he felt like doing - even when asked by a counselor we were both seeing. Things progressively got worse. He moved and refused to tell me where he was living, withheld his home phone# from me, when we would schedule times for visitation he would often not be there,or be very late cutting my time with her. Often he would call me and scream at the top of his lungs, throw phones (my daughter witnessed him break 3 phones by slamming them on the ground) One time she told me she was afraid and was huddled in the corner with the dog while he was throwing one of his fits. Fast forward....Sept of this year...I have in my hands a Summary of Treatment from her therapist which clearly outlines the trauma she has endured. In HER own words she told her counselor..."Daddy told me never to trust Mommy that she's a liar" Daddy told me that if I were to spend time with Mommy that he wouldn't be available to me at that time if I needed to get in touch with him." He would make her feel guilty for wanting to spend time with me....her counslor also stated that this relationship between her and her father was NOT HEALTHY...he was treating her more like a confidant, a partner of sorts.... I took this letter to my attorney as proof of what was going on. I asked for a Guardian to be appointed to her, he told me I could not afford a guardian and stuck that letter in his file. *sigh* Since then My EX has gotten primary residence of her....I had no choice, by the time I went to court he had her so brainwashed against me that she would kick, scream, punch me. "You don't love me" " I don't want to be with you" is what I would hear from her. Her therapist thought that it was unsafe for her to be with me given the violence she was exhibiting with me. I feel at times like I have been defeated. How much rejection can you take from your own child?? Mind you this is a child that I HOMESCHOOLED....she was a Mommy's girl thru and thru... I have no idea why her new counselor, the Parental Coordinator, or my attorney could see that this is PAS!!! I have given them SOOO much information, my daughter fits 85-90% of the "symptons" associated with this syndrome. I am devistated...I want my daughter back but have NO clue how to get her "unbrainwashed" Devistated in Maine
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I have been fighting "Parent Alienation" and the courts for over six years now. I have done everything the courts have asked of me. Parenting Classes, Single Fathers Classes, drug tests , therapists, I have had court orders to see my child and was never given the opportunity to see her (years). I have been falsely arrested for "Order of Protection" violation. I have had A.C.S do six investigations (all unfounded) The courts allowed and contributed to "Parent Alienation".
Currently I see my child 45 min a week if I am lucky. I must pay to see my child supervised along with "Child Support" I have been totally discriminated against. My rights as a father were violated. Currently the relationship is improving with my child but I fear that I cannot afford the visits much longer.
I wrote a book of my experiences and my feelings. Currently I am seeking help with publishing. I promise to get my story out because what the courts did (nothing) to allow "Parent Alienation" to occur is very disturbing to me.
I have law guardians trying to get "Order of Protection" against me for a poem I had printed in a local newspaper.
I want to wish everyone the best possible holiday!
N.Y.Post Liberty Medal Winner "Courage"2003
Anthony Gallo
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My Story : It started with continual interruption of my phone calls to my child,often to play or tell a joke,then during visits to my home, calls to tell of a gift when she came home which often resulted in wanting to go home early. Continual harassment from the mother about anything she could think of, everything I did was wrong and harmful to the girl and she was the only one who knew how to raise the girl even though I was the stay at home dad for the girls first 4yrs. All disagreements between me and the mother were expressed to the child starting from the point of seperation. .Needless to say I was always painted in a negative light in front of the child. Negative comparisons between me and the mothers new partner that my daughter was made aware of. Using the child to side with her when we disagreed on a matter. Joking with the child about her dad, always in a negative way. Often when the mother and I had a coversation about the childs up bringing and I did`nt agree with a particular point she would tell the child, eg; if your father really cared he would do things this way. Often if I disagreed with the mother she would tell me not to call for my daughter, and when I did there would be no answer, it would then appear to the child that I was`nt calling. After a very pleasant holiday with me and my partner my girl arrived home with pictures of the vacation, the mother went ballistic, harrassing my partner on a website she members for the disabled. The mother contributed money to the site and befriended the disabled, poverty stricken owner. The mother had conversations with the owner, who is good friends with my partner, and knowing the owner would pass this info on to my partner said " the father has nothing to do with the child,we just let him pay to make him feel like he`s contributing to the child,we don`t really need the money! THe amount she paid to the owner was equal to my support payments!!The mother was banned from the site. The mother rejoined the site for the disabled even though she is`nt,under a false name just to spy on my partner, when caught she said she was just there to help?? I sometime wonder if she has borderline personality disorder! When the girl expressed pleasure about my new partner she then started demeaning her. My girl has grown increasingly distant from me and will only take my calls if she wants something (like money) which she dosen`t get except for the support payments. My girl now wants me to allow her to change her name to that of the mothers partner even though they are not married. When I have confronted my girl with the efforts of the mother to alienate me she goes into complete denial of any facts, even if confronted with cold hard undeniable proof of her mothers actions, she supports the mother and will even make excuses for her. I have caught the mother in bald faced lies and yet the girl will still defend her.My many expressions of love are rebuffed, it`s like she puts a wall up, anything that goes against the mantra of the mother is denied, It puzzles me to the extreme, but that is all she has, her mother is her world. The dynamics of this syndrome are very complicated. This has caused a great deal of stress for me and over the last few years have had to seek counselling, once to try and understand this and try to get through to my girl and the mother, which was a desperate grab for some way to breach the wall of BS, also for myself,I have had bouts of depression and panic attacks. One credit I must give the mother, she has made me very strong in having to learn how to cope with this.I am very sad at times but have learned how to deal with negative emotions. The mother is very tactful and will create situations in which to demean me in the girls eyes. eg; after not having contact with the girl for a long time I finally make some headway and have started contact, the mother will call asking for a large sum of money for an expensive summer camp, (they have double my income and my partner is disabled and unable to work so we just get by) unable to contribute above my support payments I decline and the child is made aware of this," not that your father can`t contribute but he won`t!.".. What government fails to see is the hidden costs, my counselling for depression, perhaps the childs future needs for counselling, they say depression is a common result for these children. It is very frustrating. I could go on for pages, she moved the child out of province which was to be for 2yrs, they are still there 8yrs later. She knows I can`t afford the thousands for a lawyer and legal aid in this province will not cover matters of family law. At the start of the seperation the mother was the kindest i have ever known her to be, I realize now it was just setting me up for the move out of province. it was all a setup, a show to lull me into a sense of mutual caring and trust. There should be a law. Family services here (BC) are pathetic and don`t even have a system in place to deal with this. But I must send the money or else! There are pages more to tell and I`ve just covered a small portion of it. I`m aware of many other parents,both men and women who are dealing with this and worse cases, it should be a crime, because that`s what it is, a crime against children, I`m an adult and know how to cope, but kids have no choice but to meld into the subtle wants of the instigating parent. Thanks for this chance to vent some steam, it`s been threaputic. You,re doing good work here,bless you and Merry Christmas | | | | |
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My Story : I am 49 years old and today is the first time I have ever heard the term "Parental alienation Syndrome", although I have been witnessing it in my great-nieces for over a year. My two great-nieces are the children of my nephew. He and his wife divorced about 3 years ago, although they continued to live together for another year afterwards. When it became obvious that the relationship was not going to work, the mother (who has only a GED) determined that she had to leave the situation. She did not have a well paying job, so she left the girls in the care of their father (he has a nursing degree with a well paying job). She continued to have visitations with the girls at their father's house. He would not allow the mother to take them home with her. She did not press the issue with him since she was still getting to see the children. However, about a year and a half ago, my nephew met a young girl (he was 32 and she was 18). Within a period of 2 months, he had asked her to marry him, he had stopped all contact between the girls with their mother, and his girlfriend had requested that the girls now call her "Mommy". The oldest child started saying that she didn't want to see or even talk about her real mother (in fact, she started referring to her mother by her given name). The real mother started legal action within 6 months. The case went to mediation. The mediator determined that, since there had been accusations that the mother had previously been diagnosed with Bi-polar disorder, any visitations would be supervised by a child psychologist who had been seeing the oldest child for a couple of years. (The mother's former therapist has since stated that the mother did not suffer from Bi-Polar Disorder, but rather from situational depression.) The child psychologist was, and continues to be, paid by the father. She has even made the statement that he could just take his child to another psychologist if he wanted to. The mother has abided by the supervised visitation since April of this year (twice a month, for 1 hour in the psychologist's office). When the mother asked when she might expect to gain unsupervised visitation, she was not given any specific answer. In November of this year,she started another legal action against the father. To add to the heartbreak of the situation, the grandmother (my sister) saw what was happening in the situation over a year ago. She attempted to reason with her son (the father). He immediately stopped all contact between the grandmother and the granddaughters! The grandmother has co-filed a legal petition with the mother, using "Grandparent's Rights". This is an ongoing situation (mediation will again be employed as the first step of the legal process, hopefully in January or February of 2007). It has broken my heart to see the devestating effects of this syndrome. I have watched the children go from crying inconsolably when their mother had to leave from a visitation 2 years ago, to stating that they want nothing to do with her now. They tell her thay have a "new mommy". The 6 year old stated that it would "confuse" her to have 2 mommies, she wants only the one married to her Daddy. I sincerely hope you can get more of this information out to the general public. I will help any way that I can. Thank-you.
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My Story : This is actually happening to us with my step-daughter, at this moment. We are dealing with a huge contempt of court order with her mom at this time. To our, dismay we knew nothing about parential aliention until it was way too late. My step-daughter started leaking information to her dad and I starting about a year ago, that her mom told her that daddy left them (meaning my step-daughter and her mom) and if he hadnt left they would still be a happy family together. From that point on her stories kept getting worse. My husband's grand-father passed away, and his ex-wife called to say that she would like to attend the funeral. My husband proceeded to tell her this might not be a wise idea, due to the fact that she was not in such good terms with his family members at the time. She then contacted my husband's mom to ask if she could attend and was told that at this time they would rather not have her show. My step-daughter informed us a couple weeks later that her mom told her she prayed for my husband's grandfather every night and that HE would have wanted her to be there because he had always told her she would always be a part of the family even after the divorce. She also informed my step-daughter that it was because of her daddy and her grandparents that she could not show her last respects to the man that she loved dearly, and that her heart was broken because of it. My step-daughter was devastated that her daddy and grandparents would do such a thing to her mom. We informed her that it was an adult situation and that her mom should not have been discussing this with her, but that when she was old enough we would sit down and talk about it. It was also a common trademark with her mom that whenever we would have a special day with our daughter, her mom would make sure to do something with her the very next day, even if it meant taking a day off work to do so. We would never find about special events at school, unless our daughter told us or we would call the school. Our daughter, being 9 years old, would baby talk with her mom all the time saying that it was a "fun" thing they did. They would do this out in public as well. The final breaking point came when our daughter lied to us,twice, in a 2 week period and got spanked by her daddy. No bruises were left and after the spanking took place she sat on her daddy's lap as he explained to her why lying was not tolerated. Two nights later, after being with her mother, I picked her up from school and could immedately tell all was not well. She seemed very nervous and anxious. Upon arriving home I sat down with her and asked what was going on. She said she was scared of daddy and what was going to happen when he got home. When I asked why, she said she thought she was going to get a spanking, she couldnt tell me why she thought she was going to get one, just that she thought she would. She then grabbed her bookbag, put on her and coat and informed me that her mother had told her that she can run away from her daddy and steal his cellphone to call her and she would come pick her up. She also stated that her mother told her it was only a matter of time before she wouldnt have to come over to daddy's at all anymore. Mind you, my step-daughter could not explain why she was so scared of daddy all of a sudden, just that she was. I talked to her until her daddy arrived home from work. We all sat down and had a very long talk. Her daddy informed her that she would only get in trouble if she lied to us and if she understood that and she replied yes. She then started sobbing and spilled her heart out. Her mother had told her not to tell us, but she was seeing a counselour to talk all about daddy and what he does to make her "feel bad." Her mother also told her she should be very scared of daddy and what he was going to do to her. My step-daughter looked like the world was lifted off her shoulders by telling us these things. She said she had never been scared of daddy until her mother told her all the things that he used to do her,meaning her mother, throughout there marriage. My husband again took the high road and let her know that we would discuss all those things when she got older. Through out all this we did not show any display of disdain of what her mother was doing to her. Two days later(after our dauhgter had spent the night with her mother) Children Services showed up at our home, due to the spanking, which had happened a week prior. When we were cleared of that, we were once again visited by Children Services, this time the allegation was daddy was demeaning to our daughter. This report had come from the couselour, whom we were not supposed to know about and had never met. Because it was from someone who had to report to Children Services, they sent our case to the majestrate. We have yet to find out whether we are cleared of that as well. My husbands ex, our daughters mom, then decided to cut us off of any visitation rights with her. She pulled our daughter out of school early 3 times to make sure we could not pick her up, she contacted the school with a note stating that no one on my husbands side of the family was to pick up our daughter. She dropped our daughter from all soccer games at school so that we could not have any contact with her what so ever. Through the many many phone calls to her home, we were always told our daughter did not want to talk to us, she was to scared. We are now going through the court system to try and get our daughter back. The mother asked for continuence, and was granted it but was also informed in the meantime, she had to send her daughter over to her daddys for visitation. It was even under supervision with the person of her choice,since her mother was so concerned about her daughters safety. We got to see our daughter for two hours since that court order. Before the car door even opened we could hear her yell DADDY! through the window. She then ran out of the car full speed and gave her daddy a huge hug and kiss. We videotaped those two hours and our daughter let us know, she never knew we called or tried to contact her. She also stated that she couldnt wait to spend the holidays with us and go on our summer vacation with us. Clearly she had not been informed by her mother that she, her mom, was trying to completly erase daddy from her life altogether. We filed for contempt of court again,but were not able to get in before all the holidays. So many, many things are clear now when its to late and we are fighting with all we have to get our daughter back. Her mother had been brain washing her long before we even knew what was going on.I believe if we had known about PAS before, we wouldn't have let her mother get this far. We are devestated as Thanksgiving and Christmas roll on by and we don't get to share them with our daughter. Our hearts are broken. The "what-ifs" constantly rolling around in our heads. Look for the early signs of PAS in your children and prevent everyone from a complete devestation such as ours.
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My Story : I am the victim of parent alienation. My childrens' father was abusive to them and me when we were married. And like too many terrified women, I did not call the police, because as he said it was all our fault. After many years of therapy I finally got the courage to file for divorce. After filing, all sorts of terrible things started happening to us. People told me that men do this sometimes when they get angry, he'll stop. He frightened the kids so terribly they do not want to see him. He is now using parent alienation against me and the kids. I was told to proceed with extreme caution that if I filed a restraining order that it could be used against me. So he has total free rein to keep terrifying us. How has it come to this? I am sure this is not the orginal intention and I feel it is horrific for parents to alienate another out of spite. I feel that every child deserves two loving parents. But children deserve to feel safe and protected by the court. I am fearful we can not get the protection that they deserve.
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My Story : I am the victim of parent alienation. My childrens' father was abusive to them and me when we were married. And like too many frightened women I did not call the police, beause as he said it was all our fault. After many years of therapy I finally got the courage to file for divorce. After filing, all sorts of terrible things started happening to us. People told me that men do this sometime when they get angry, he'll stop. He frightened the kids so terribly they do not want to see him. He is now using parent alienation against me and the kids. Where is the justice? I was told to proceed with extreme caution that if I filed a restraining order that it could be used against me. So he has total free rein to keep terrifying us. How has it come to this? I am sure this is not the orginal intention and I feel that almost every child deserves two parents, but this is going too far that children can not get the protection that they deserve.
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My Story : I gave birth to three, beautiful daughters. I haven't seen or heard from my three children since 1987 or nearly 20 years ago. My husband filed for divorce when my girls were 11, 14 and 18 years old. But, the emotional and verbal abuse began much earlier. During my marriage of 21 years, he abscounded with 21 years of my retirement, 16 years of severance pay from my Civil Service job and all of my personal and inherited items. He, also, trashed the home in which we lived for 16 years. Nevertheless, the worst and most vicious occurence was the complete and total alienation of my children. Today, I do not even know their whereabouts. Unfortunately, my mother whom is paranoid schitzophrenic and an elder sister combined efforts with my husband to negatively influence and brainwash my three lovely girls. This was all done for their monetary and emotional empowerment. Last year, they directed me to never attempt to contact my girls or to ask anyone else about them or to seek their whereabouts. The first three years, I cried hysterically every weekend--all weekend! Today, the tears are spent so I grieve silently by inwardly telling my God, "It would have been better had I never been born!" Although I live physically, it is as though I am dead emotionally.I've missed 20 years of sharing that which gives life meaning. Moreover, the future looms forbiddenly as I am growing old without knowing my children. I have done nothing to deserve this punishment. and there is nothing in this world that could replace what I have missed--absolutely nothing!
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