Parental Alienation
Awareness Organization

My Story : Since our separation my ex has engaged in hostile parenting that seems to have no end. I have kept a journal of all of her actions and the children, carefully documenting everything that has happened. I have created a website in honor of my children in the hopes that they will read it and know how very much I love them.

My Story : It's been six years for me. I know there are others who have waited longer. Once, I was a Dad to a five year old daughter and a 2.5 year old son. Part of my story is told here: http://www.mywiferanoffwithourkids.com/ Today, my 8 year old son still looks forward to seeing me and has a great time when we are together, even though he cannot respond to the words "I love you" without mimicking an "I hate you" in response. I am afraid for my daughter, now 11. She is a bully at school. Bright, intelligent, she has focused her energies on talking to required reporters, engaging CPS, and filling out police reports. I fear for the dawning of adolescence and the terrible anguish she will feel as she discovers the inconsitencies between her mother's story and the one reality tells to her. I fear for the 7 months of visitation denied for reasons I do not understand. At least my family in New York believes me. At least, when I chose to be near my kids, it was on a tropical island with great weather most of the time. And when my daughter turns 20, or maybe 30-- I'm assuming she will not be "a victim"--she may come to see me. She may understand what happened. Have I lost one child? Am I at risk for losing another? Only their mother knows this. And, from my experience, I can not trust her. I cannot count on the courts. I cannot depend on the tens of lawyers, counselors, and guardians who have been appointed and have failed. I can only hope that my kids have the strength to carry them through. I send them my love everyday. I try to do something, everyday, to be with them again and again. I am their Dad. I can do no less.

My Story : different fatherhood so many years we did not share every second I missed you would have liked to play oh if you only knew so many years we did not share know later you will see liked to play with you so much pain for you and me so many years we did not share you are a child today liked to play with you but the years have flown away And in Dutch : Vaderschap anders Al jaren niets gedeeld Wel elke tel, gemist Had graag met je gespeeld Oh als je dat 'ns wist Al jaren niets gedeeld Weet dat je later ziet Had graag met je gespeeld Voel nu al jouw verdriet Al jaren niets gedeeld De tijd die komt niet weer Had graag met je gespeeld Je bent nu kind en straks niet meer

My Story : So many years we did not share Every second I missed of you

My Story : I am a childless father of a wonderful 5 year old boy. His mother and I were never married. we had a very short and strained relationship that lasted about 6 months. My son was the result of my stupidity of having unprotected sex. Do not get me wrong I have done everything in my power to be there from the begining for him but did not want to have a relationship with his mother, on my first father's Day I met my current wife. She encouraged me to have a dna test to make sure I really was the father, I am! Yeah I have a son! but not without all the pain and heartache I endure every single day. I was in the begining denyed all visitation with my son unless I included his mother in all my activities, this even meant putting my wife and family in some very awkward situations that were later retold as untruths and even put into court documents to prevent me from seeing my son.finally at the age of 17 months I was awarded full custody of my son, only to later back down and allow a 50/50 shared parenting plan that was a complete disaster. My son's mother even wanted to live with me and my wife! how absurd is that? I had my son more than 90% of the time during this 10 month stent of the 50/50 plan, so I went for the full custody I was then awarded, the mother then began flaking out not showing up for visitations no phone calls expecting me and my family members to meet her demands. then one time after a visit she dissapeared for a 2 week span I never got even a phone call from her. she missed a visit, her own doings, During this whole ordeal Me and my wife were owners of a 1 truck trucking company we took my son when he wanted to go which was most all the time. he loved to travel at 3 he could name every state he had visited and knew the capitols of each of them by the way he had been to 44 states and over a 3/4 million miles under his small belt, we always made time for him to play outside every day we ate together as a family we were very close, then the summer of 2004 all the sudden his mother reappears as a married woman and the custody was given back to her, with out reguard to the court supported documents of her feeding the child alcohol and marijuana before he was 15 months old! now she is married and she can provide the more stable nurturing enviorment, Huh! during the months from july to dec of 2004 I was allowed 1 visitation and was awarded part of his holiday break from preschool, (preschool that I had to get the judge to order because I had already made arrangments for him to attend and hired someone to drive my truck)I had to go to court for every single visit I wanted I was denied!talk about expensive and a gross waste of the court system! in feb 2005 my lawyer suggested I have a psycological exam for my parenting skills as the mother was always accusing my of being violent with my son!, He determined that I had a great relationship with my son and alot of positive aspects to contribute to him, Oh I almost forgot about the guardian adlitum, what a joke she was the mothers second attorney, spewing mistruths about me to the court and they just went along with her, June 2005, I was alotted 7 weeks where I could take my son and spend time with him. that was a fight again! I was ordered that I could not run my business with him here. I got my son to my home he was delighted with his room and reconnected with some of his favorite toys. but was preocupied with his mother during the whole visit when mom would call "I am living with my Dad now I am never comming back" "please help me "Please pinky promise to never take me back there" these were everyday 3-4 or more times a day things that rolled out of his mouth to anyone who would listen, my wife and I were very disturbed by this (remember my son is only 4). I contacted my attorney and tried several times to contact the guardian to no avail.it was suggested for me to take my son to a child psycologist for a exam and evaluation, $1,500.00 my cost!so we told Hayden tht this person could help him with his problems with his mother, boy did I lie to him. the head psycologist found no real bond child/maternal, the child told the dr of beatings we did not know about, he even suggested sexual abuse to the child by the mother. but when it was time to return the child to the mother(mom's attorney maniulapated the paperwork, as he did many times throught the procedings)I was accused of returning the child late, then the mother confronted me in front of the child about child-support. I was furious!I muttered some ugly words and handed my son over to her and have never seen him again! I turned the psycolgist report over to the local police as I was instructed to . they then interviewed the child with the mother present and I was accused of telling my son to "light your mom on fire" and subsquently forbidden to call him see him or even write him ever again! My attorney was suppose to be preparing for a trial and I was granted for the mother to have a psycological exam, I was to pay for! then they decided to not do this! the friday before the trial my attorney was not ready for the trial and basically sold me out! he went for a continounce and was told that the judge already made a decision before hand bases on the lies by the guardian at-litum saying she was at the mothers home in july 2005 with the child present and saw a loving family w/ stepfather and mother/child all doing well , My Son was with me in my home during the month of July 2005 in Georgia, not Washington state! but she helped close the door on me and my son ever seeing each other ever again! christmas past was sad and lonely, his birthday just past, I long for a hug from my son! writing this to you brings tears to my eyes as I miss him so! what is wrong with our judicial system? it is a big lie! I am marred as the abuser here and have done nothing but try to make my son safe from the ill will of his mother and step-father. please if someone can help me and my son be reunited I would be forever endebted. I have lost my business, spent about 70,0000 in legal fees and I have come away a childless father!

My Story : My wife and I seperated in Oct. 2002 and divorced in March 2004. Initially we had a trial seperation for 1 year, at that time I moved in with my parents that lived approximately 3 hours away. During the seperation we agreed that I would work in the area that my parents lived in until I found a good paying position in the small college town my ex-wife and I lived in at the time we seperated. I worked and sent the majority of pay check home to my ex. to pay off bills and so we could get in better finacial shape. This went on for 1 year and finally I was offered a job in that small town making the same money I was currently making, but when the time came for me to move back in with my wife and 2 children, my wife suddenly filed for divorce. While my ex and I were together she was the domineering one of the marriage, shortly after we married she became verbally abusive toward me, regularly degrading me at every chance she could in front of the children. I was the care giver of my children and they were my world. At first while we were seperated she did nothing to keep me from seeing the children, in fact I had them almost every weekend. After filing for divorce my ex ask me to return to her, I had been out of her abusive influence and felt I could not go back into that situation so I refuse to go back to her. At that point she began a systematical campain to turn my children against me. During my weekends and extended periods of possession she would frequently call the police for well check visits, stating she was concerned for the children's safty, each time the police would come check on the children and found a perfectly normal atmosphere and would leave. She would call the children several times while in my possession upsetting them and stir up trouble. Weirdly my ex would show up at the same resturants that I was at during dates, or find out where the women I dated lived and worked. She would find out way too much about my private life. She would tell the children I didnt care about them now that I was seeing another women, that I would eventually marry and have children and would not want anything to do with the children when that happened. She told the children that they could not participate in any extra curricular activities if they told me about it, and if I showed up to watch them she would mke them quit. My son, which was 6 years old at the time, accidently told me about playing in little league baseball. He told me he was not suppose to tell me about it and if I came to any of his games his mother would make him quit. I would go to the games and park far enough away from the game to prevent my ex from knowing I was there, sat in my car and watch my son play baseball. In 2004 right after one of my extended period of possessions my ex took my daughter, which was eight at the time, to a phycologist and told the phycologist that I forced my daugher and son to look at "porn" while they were watching an unrelated movie on my computer. Oddly enough I did not own a computer capable of playing videos or movies. My daughter described the picture she saw very graphically, I feel her description of the pornograghic picture was suspiciously to grown up for an eight year old. From that point my daughter became withdrawn and exibited rudness and sometimes cried when I meet my ex to transfer the children for my weekends visitation period. In November of that same year my ex accused me of threatening to kill her over the phone and I was summoned to family court, after hearing both sides tesifimoney the judge denied her petition for a restraining order against me. Shortly after that, approximately 1 week, she filed an accusation of sexual abuse with the CPS, stating the incident in the previous summer that I had shown my children pornographic pictures. I was dating another women at the time and one night while at this women's home the police showed up to question me concerning my ex's allegations. After the investigation the police determined no evidence existed to prove the accusations and dropped the case. During the Christmas holiday's I decided to stop dating the women I had been seeing during the time of the sexual abuse allegations, and at that time strangely my ex became friends with this women. Right after the Christmas holidays my daughter became more and more withdrawn and started refusing to come with me on my weekend visitation periods, I would beg her to come for my time and she refused, saying "you cant make me come". My ex would sat in the car and do nothing to encourage my daughter to come with me. I filed numerous reports with the police that I was being denied visitation rights with my daughter. That was absolutely usless. The police refuse to do anything, stating it was out of their jurisdiction and I would have to hire a lawyer and take my ex back to family court to get my visitation rights enforced. I finally saved up enough money to retain a lawyer and filed a petition with family court to get my rights back in May of 2005, now here it is April of 2006 and I am still waiting to go to court to get my visitation rights enforced with my daughter. I've had no contact with my daughter in almost one year. People dont realize how prejudice the courts are against fathers, if you dont have thousands and thousands of dollars to fight for your rights in this situation you are SOL and no one in the legal system cares. Everyone that I tell of my struggles say "well the court system is getting better about being more fair toward fathers" well I'm living proof that is not true. I realize there are some very dangerous men that abuse their families, but in my case my wife used these laws that were made to protect families against abusive men as a weapon to hurt me. I dare to say these abusive men absolutely do not represent the overwhelming majority of fathers that desire to maintain a loving relationship with their children and struggle constantly to be in their children's daily lives. Father's are not given the credit and backing of the courts that they deserve. The standard belief of most judges and the court system is that the children are better off with the mother, I am here to say I love my children and want my children in my life. I live for them and will do whatever it takes to give them a safe and stable life, I am willing to share them with thier mother because I believe they will be much better off if both parents are in thier lives. It is my prayer that very soon fathers will have just as many rights as mothers in the court system.

My Story : My Story In A Nutshell During the first three years of my marriage, prior to the birth of our children, I told my wife that she wasn't the girl that she presented herself to be and asked for a divorce. She took our children to live in her mother's house feigning that my $60,000 a year income was not sufficient to the children's $100,000 a year expenses. She needed to work and make up the difference she told me, while her mother tended to our children. I didn't know that this was in fact a ploy to keep the children away from me and coach them to hate me in preparation for her divorce action nine years later, accusing me of child abuse and molestation.

My Story : After 15 years of a verbally abusive marriage to an alcoholic, I finally decided to file for divorce. Our daughter was 15 years old. Overnight I became a single mother. My daughter and I settled in the best we could, me having to work longer hours and my daughter staying with neighbors after school often until I got home from work. When visitation with her father was not happening (he was given every other weekend, Tuesday and Thursday evenings)I began calling him and asking what plans he had for "his" weekend or with his Tuesday or Thursday. He would just tell me where to go. Often I would hear my daughter on the phone with him crying. Once, when they were on the phone, I became very concerned because she continued to sob. I am not in the practice of listening in on phone calls, but couldn't help it. I picked up the downstairs kitchen phone and listened in. My x-husband had a friend of ours (used to be a friend of mine) tell our daughter that I was a very vindictive person and that she should keep a diary of all the "bad things" I did so that her father could submit that to his attorney. Our daughter was told that the attorney would kick me out of the house and that she and her father would live here. The "friend" also gave our daughter permission to call the friend at anytime of day or night. This troubled me as I was having difficulty getting my daughter to finish her homework and get to bed at a decent hour on school nights. My daughter began asking me if she could spend her Dad's weekend with his family. I let her. After a while she began asking me if she could spend every weekend with her cousins at her Dad's family's homes. At first I thought it would be helpful for her to be with kids her age and most of her cousins were children of divorce. After a while problems occurred. She started coming home late on Sundays, her homework not done and staying up late on Sunday to finish her homework. I called her Dad and asked him to please require that his sister's be sure to have our daughter do her homework on the weekends. He told me where to go. I asked my attorney to please ask the court to ask my X to be sure to have our daughter do her homework. Her grades fell from that of an honor student to failing grades. She began saying that she was sick in the morning and did not want to go to school. When I would not make the call to the school to approve her absence, she would call her Dad and he would make the call. I went to the guidance couselor and explained that the school should not be taking sick calls from her father as he was not living with us and unable to assess her health. The school agreed and said that if they did not have a call from me, that they might have to suspend my daughter. After several unexcused absences, the school did suspend her. The school recommended that I file a C.H.I.N.S. ; Child in Need of Services. I did not feel comfortable doing this. Instead, I got my daughter involved with a therapist to discuss her feelings. After several months the therapist suggested I find someone who would be able to prescribe antidepressant medication to my daughter as she felt she may be borderline depressed. It took me forever to find someone who could evaluate my daughter. In the meantime, the school basically forced me into filing a CHINS. This meant my daughter now had a probation officer who would check in on her once each week, which did not happen. This meant, or so I was told that I would have someone to lean on and help me in the event she acted out or continued to have problems going to school. On the day she was to be evaluated, my daughter did not come home from school. When I got home, I found a short note, a scribble from her, not a "dear mom" as she would usually write. Just a scribble that she had gone to (named the town) where her cousin's lived. I had no idea who she was with or when she would be home. I made several phone calls to her Dad's family members to no avail. I finally called her Dad who said "She's with me". When I asked when she'd be home, he said "I don't have to tell you anything". My daughter returned home that Sunday evening late, having missed her psyche evaluation. When she arrived home, the look in her eyes and the expression on her face were as if she wanted to kill me. I basically left her alone not wanting to upset her any further. The following day, I made arrangements to work from home so that I could be available to her. She made several phone calls back and forth to her cousin, to her father, to her cousin. We didn't have a DSL service at the time and I remember telling her that I had to get my e-mails from work before she could use the phone again. She began tearing phone plugs out of the walls. She slammed down my laptop screen and began getting aggressive. When she started throwing things and glass was breaking, I told her she needed to stop, that if she continued I would call her probation officer. She didn't stop. I called her probation officer who was not available. I called her therapist who was not available. I didn't know what to do except to try to calm her down. When I did finally hear from her probation officer, she said "If you do not call the police, I will." Calling the police was the last thing I wanted to do, but my daughter was now hitting me with anything she could get her hands on. She threw a kitchen counter stool at me. I'm 5' 1" and weigh 103lbs. so it does not take much for me to bruise. I called the police. After they examined our home and the situation, the decided to take my daughter to the police station. They told me that they just wanted to scare her and that I could pick her up in "five minutes". I phoned my Dad and asked him if he could come over and ride to the police station with me. My Dad is a retired police officer and I thought he could help out. As my Dad was on his way to our house, the police called to say that their supervisor decided to press charges and that my daughter would be spending the night in juvenile hall and that she would be in juvenile court in the morning !! I could not beleive that this had happened. My daughter had never been in trouble in her life. She was a good kid, just messed up from the divorce. The next day in court, the judge spent approximately five minutes hearing the situation and said "Place her in custody". It all happened so fast that I did not know what was happening. When I inquired to the court appointed child attorney she said "Your daughter was just placed in DSS custody." I sat on a bench outside of the courtroom, in shock, I must say. It was close to lunch time and the child attorney suggested that I go over to the DSS office after lunch. While that conversation was taking place, my daughter, my x-husband and many of his family members paraded past me with smiles on their faces. When I asked the child attorney what was going on, she said that DSS had determined that my daughter would go with her fathter's family. There is much, much more to this story. I could write a book. But, basically, my daughter was placed with her father's sister. I was told temporarily. That was almost three years ago. My daughter never came home. She was told, and learned early on that a fifteen year old can refuse to come home. So she refused again and again and again. She was told that everything that happened was my fault, that I was a monster. DSS ordered a psyche evaluation on me, which by the way showed that I was a dedicated mother who was grieving the loss of her child. My daughter to this day does not trust me and is stand-offish when we are together. I miss her terribly. Have missed 16th birthdays and boyfriends and filling out applications for college and even her illnesses. I can only hope that she, in time will figure this all out for herself and that we will one day have what we once did; Mom and daughter.

My Story : Recently I requested a 730 evaluation and am asking for 50/50 custody. My ex-wife takies me to court every year for a custody modification for non issues, mainly because she's mad because she hasn't got her way over some minor issue or one of her rude and selfish demands is not met. Last year the mediator gave me 10 more hours a month, but this year the same mediator was double booked and after a 15 minute mediation in which my ex told one lie after another, he cut my present custody in half. I feel our son deserves more time and thought than this to decide his well being and future. My ex has been angry since day one over me receiving a 40% custody timeshare with our son and hates that that I'm an involved and caring father to our 6 year old son. She has done everything imaginable trying to get me to give up time with our son, and has been trying to alienate our son against me since our divorce almost 5 years ago. When he was 4 years old she told him I didn't go to church (I only go once in a while) and that all people who don't go to church are going to be thrown into hell. She told him I didn't graduate from high school or go to college. She has always tried to pick arguments with me when he is in her presence, so there is really no decent communication due to her talking in front of our son; because I won't discuss anything with her if he is nearby. She refuses to co-parent. I tried writing to her and she complained to my attorney about me writing. Since our divorce she has put on an act in front of our son and other people to make them think I am yelling at her, or cussing at her or threatening her. What she does is this: she will call me and make a demand, such as wanting to take our son during his time with me. On my end of the phone I may be saying, "Sorry I have plans with him." But on her end of the conversation she will melodramatically say something like, " Oh my God, don't talk to me like that, you're scaring me!" or "Stop cussing at me and calling me those filthy names!" or "Quit threatening me!" Usually she is on her cell phone while driving and our son is with her. And/or she has other people with her. She has managed to enlist some of her friends help in denying me visitation at times. Her newest (4th) husband is totally convinced, by her acting and lies, that I am abusive and he has been belligerent with me and has helped her in denying my visitation with our son. These are only a few of the parental alienation tactics she uses. She has made my life and my family's life a living hell for over 5 years now. I am hoping the evaluation will expose her emotionally ill behavior and her malicious mother/ parental alienation tactics. The evaluation is expensive and I hope it is worth it, but I don't know any other answers to the parental alienation problem except to try to have my son for longer stretches of time. Thank you.

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Woman Without a Soul She's a dama without alma. 1, 2 She steps on my corazone. 3 Mi hijo, I love him so. 4 Yo no lo mira anymore. 5 Calle Dolorosa meets Soledad 6, 7, 8 in San Anto. That's where 9 my pain and loneliness meet. 10 The time I have con my son 11 is too poquito. 12 Y cuando his mom withholds mi hijo, 13 I miss him so. The smile of a child is lo mejor in all el mundo, 14, 15 pero his absence is too tristie. 16, 17 No conozco por que 18 his mom could be so mala 19 to me or to our boy. This tiempo feo; 20 it brings me bajo. 21 Yo ha listo for el sol to shine. 22, 23 En la manana 24 I'll give him muchos besos 25 and el grande abrazo 26 con mucho gusto! 27 - D.M. 1 woman 2 soul 3 heart 4 my son 5 I don't see him 6 Street 7 Pain 8 Solitude 9 slang for San Antonio 10 the intersection of which lies the Bexar County Courthouse, civil arena for divorce and custody decisions 11 with 12 small 13 and when 14 the best 15 the world 16 but 17 sad 18 I don't know how 19 bad 20 ugly time 21 down 22 I am ready 23 sun 24 in the morning 25 bunch of kisses 26 a big hug 27 with all my might -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We are grandparents who fight for their grandchildren and we try to help our son who has nearly been destroyed by this battle. At the prestent he is fighting for access rights which were ordered by the court. The mother contempts the court continiously and gets away with it. She is alienating the children and emotional abusing them in any way she can.Both children have been sexualy abused by their mother and new partner which professionals have confirmed. Our story is currently on www.dadsindistress.asn.au/news99.html The names have been removed for legal reasons and to protect the children.

I had discovered from a friend that my 13 year old daughter had been hanging around a downtown restaurant that was frequented by prostitutes. Quite concerned about this I felt I should discuss the matter with her mother. It was my beleif that "we" as her parents should limit her access to the downtown area. I proposed that she be allowed downtown only for specifics and no hanging around. In other words "do what your going to do and straight home. I asked her mother if she agreed and would support what I proposed. She seemed reluctant but said she agreed and would support the choice. That same weekend she took our daughter downtown....upon completing their errand the mother called me to ask if it was alright if our daughter could stay downtown, even though she was coming home. I asked her why she called to ask me, I reminded her of our discussion and choice and asked if she supported the choice. It was at this point I heard her say to our daughter, "your father says you have to go home". When I think back on this I am left to beleive that alienation starts early and is often covert. I think back to dropping my daughter off at daycare and her tears at being left there. I was abandoning her....and at the end of the day her mother would rescue her. In our marriages and relationships we often accept roles and responsibilities, for many that means one parent is the good guy and one isn't. Stop alienating yourself from your kids. If (and when) the relationship goes south all that well layed psychological propaganda will be used against you. Cause after all, divorce today is adverserial, the courts will see to that.

The point I'm trying to make here is.......alienation starts with you, you accept the role. If you don't want to be the smuck don't....... find a better way.....make the effort it's worth it. two years ago I received an email from my daughter. It opened with the words "I'm writing this to you because I can't talk to you". It was quite a lenghthy letter outlining a number of the emotional crimes I had commited against her. I read that letter sometimes 2 or 3 times a day for about 6 months. For most of the letter I couldn't tell if it was written by her or her mother.

My story is one of a young boy aleniated from his father and his grandparents on his mothers side not to mention the rest of his family who love him more than life. I am the maternal grandmother. My daughter got involved with a very controlling man when my grandson was three years old. My daughter and my grandson moved in with this man and he does not want my grandson having anything to do with his real father, grandparents on both sides, cousin, Aunts and Uncles. My grandson was born and raised with all of us and now he only gets to come over once every month or two. When he is here he loves it. He is allowed to be a child. He was never allowed that with my daughters boyfriend. He cries when he has to go back to bootcamp. This child is going to be 11 this year. I can only wish he were old enough to leave his situation and be free of this man. This year he will probably fail his grade in school. He has been in 4 different schools and is in grade 5. He is an only child and a very lonely child as has been mentioned to me by people who know his situation at home. I want so badly to free him but I dont want to take him from his mother. Being a grandmother there is nothing I can do to help him.

The agony just goes on day after day. He is constantly told that his father is no good and that he is useless. I can only imagine the pain that this child is in with nobody to help him. Please let there be something that we can do for him?  There is so much more going on here, much too much to tell...Thankyou for listening

I met my ex-wife (‘X’) in 1991. She was divorced with a two year old daughter (‘A’). She concentrated a lot of effort bad mouthing her first husband in front of ‘A’, and suggesting that ‘A’ would be happier not seeing her father regularly. This alienation worked and ‘A’ had very limited contact with her father.

 

‘X’ would tell ‘A’ that she could go to see her daddy or she could have "more fun at home with mummy". ‘X’ would invent special occasions to entice ‘A’ to say that she wanted to stay with mummy and not visit her daddy. Unfortunately, her father let this happen and did not exercise or insist on his rights.

Now years later ’X’ is trying to alienate my own children against me.

I married ‘X’ in 1994. Our first daughter was born in 1995. Things very quickly changed. ‘X’ became very moody and sometimes violent toward me and the children.

 

When ‘A’ was about seven she received a small dolls set for Christmas from my brother. A few days after Christmas ‘X’ was annoyed that ‘A's bedroom was untidy so she smashed the toy under her foot in front of ‘A’ and warned her that if the room was not kept tidy she would do the same to the other toys. This is just one of hundreds of examples.

 

The violence was also physical and ‘A’ was often slapped and pushed around.

 

In 2001 a neighbour complained to Social Services about ‘X’ hitting ‘A’ in the face. They interviewed ‘A’ and the police were called. ‘X’ received a warning for her behaviour.

 

We had two daughters of our own.

 

Our relationship deteriorated to the point where I would fear returning home from work and would find any excuse to take the children out for the day.

 

A few years ago I discovered ‘X’ was having an affair. I left her and after a difficult period we divorced. She moved her boyfriend into my house and she still lives with him. I recently discovered he has criminal convictions for offences against young girls, but that is in the hands of my lawyers. In the meantime I see my children almost every weekend. It is difficult as I have to rely on their mother to make them available and the UK legal system is so anti-male I am struggling to protect my children. I gave ‘X’ enough money to buy a house for her and the children (and her boyfriend!) and every month pay a lot of maintenance. My children stay most weekends but their mother often tries to make excuses to stop my access - it is only by standing my ground and putting my children’s interests first that I continue to see them. I have to put them first even if their mother is intent on using them as a means of getting more money from me.

 

About 9 months after we separated I met a girl who turned my life around. She had two children from a previous marriage herself. All the children get on brilliantly.

 

'A' chose to come to live with me (and my new girlfriend). She could not forgive her mother for her violence or continue to live in the same house as her. She recently moved out into her own flat (she is now 17) and I see her most weekends. I continued to support her as my own child for all that time but also made sure she built a relationship with her father.

 

I do not know what the future will bring but I will keep fighting for the protection of my children. I know there are good and bad mothers and fathers but the legal system (and UK political parties) are so anti-male they are creating an atmosphere where children are at increased risk. Unless we put a stop to the unjust situation and we allow children to be loved by both parents equally we will continue to see an increase in antisocial behaviour, insecurity and fear where none should exist, increasing in turn divorce, arguments and further levels of abuse.

 

It is important for alienated parents to stand their ground and fight for their rights, not for themselves but for their children. Children need to develop in a loving environment and both parents owe it to their child to put their personal feelings to the back and put their children first.

 

I tell my children I love them every day and they know that I will always be there for them despite their mothers evil comments.

 

I urge all parents in similar situations never to give up. We owe it to our children to make a change for the better.

I am a targeted NonCustodial mother.  I live in Missouri and my 10yr old daughter lives in Houston.  I can not even begin to touch, what PA has done to destroy my relationship with my daughter.  I found your site, and I want to do WHATEVER I can, my close friends and family too, to help my daughter and all other children and parents.  I have a fire in my belly that has finally pushed me to speak out and bring awareness to PA.  Missouri is still behind on PA, but my case is now in Harris County, and I am ready to fight for my daughter! 

My sons mother has 1) refused a divorce decree that was 100% + attorney fees of what she asked for, has not allowed me any medical or school records for 15 years plus tried charging me $80 (I paid $240 while waiting) a month for insurance without any access or proof. 2) She would violently shake my son to make him cry (when I would get him) when 3+, "children cry when they leave their mothers." 3) refused to put my son on the plane when he was 6+, I had been flying to Phoenix from Colorado, renting car getting room, and flying him home while having to reverse the procedure on the return (pickup and drop-off were chosen by her and I could not pickup or drop-off the same day I flew), "If you can afford to see your son you can afford to pay me more." 4) Recorded phone conversations between me and my son, eventually refused us phone contact. 5) Refused to give my son gifts from me and letters, she threw a gift (unopened from me) onto the yard while I was getting my son and then she grabbed it and threw it into the trash barrel. 6) She refused to give me pickup and drop-off times until it was within 7 days of departure when ticket prices were as high as $1,200 (even from Colorado Springs). 7) Rubbed human feces on my sons face and torso: My son was going 7 days between defections and was wetting the bed at 15, he said, "I'm living in the eye of a storm." 8) I was deprived visitation for over 2 years while I paid child support because I wouldn't pay the medical bills she wouldn't give me! 9) I've had to travel to Phoenix 4-5 times to enforce visitation. 10) She's hired men to confront me! She's not Borderline Personality Disorder but psychotic.

When I had my son I could get him to go without bed wetting and soiling his pants, when I got him back (after the 2 years) there was no desire, on his part, to stop the bed wetting and control the constipation but there was treatment here! I only got my son after stopping support, but he was begging me to keep him, send money for a ticket, or kidnap him, this is when I found out about the feces being rubbed on him. I'm sure there are things I've forgotten like sending him to Colorado with T's, shorts, and sandals when it's a blizzard (she's a skier).

So, now I'm the villain, I've been to court and been thrown in jail even though this has all been documented through the quasi branches of government such as child protective services and expedited visitation as well as with my attorney and the court. I now have an arrest warrant in Phoenix, for me. My son turns 18 in 2 years and will get no treatment but to be jailed if he acts like his mother, I'm fighting for my sons life, my life is ruined.

My Story : I had discovered from a friend that my 13 year old daughter had been hanging around a downtown restaurant that was frequented by prostitutes. Quite concerned about this I felt I should discuss the matter with her mother. It was my beleif that "we" as her parents should limit her access to the downtown area. I proposed that she be allowed downtown only for specifics and no hanging around. In other words "do what your going to do and straight home. I asked her mother if she agreed and would support what I proposed. She seemed reluctant but said she agreed and would support the choice. That same weekend she took our daughter downtown....upon completing their errand the mother called me to ask if it was alright if our daughter could stay downtown, even though she was coming home. I asked her why she called to ask me, I reminded her of our discussion and choice and asked if she supported the choice. It was at this point I heard her say to our daughter, "your father says you have to go home". When I think back on this I am left to beleive that alienation starts early and is often covert. I think back to dropping my daughter off at daycare and her tears at being left there. I was abandoning her....and at the end of the day her mother would rescue her. In our marriages and relationships we often accept roles and responsibilities, for many that means one parent is the good guy and one isn't. Stop alienating yourself from your kids. If (and when) the relationship goes south all that well layed psychological propaganda will be used against you. Cause after all, divorce today is adverserial, the courts will see to that. The point I'm trying to make here is.......alienation starts with you, you accept the role. If you don't want to be the smuck don't....... find a better way.....make the effort it's worth it. two years ago I received an email from my daughter. It opened with the words "I'm writing this to you because I can't talk to you". It was quite a lenghthy letter outlining a number of the emotional crimes I had commited against her. I read that letter sometimes 2 or 3 times a day for about 6 months. For most of the letter I couldn't tell if it was written by her or her mother.

I am both a child of an alienating parent and a targeted parent. While my mother simply was neutral about my father my older sister applied enough peer influence to in effect erase my father from my life. I didn't even know what happened. All went as bad as life can go for a fatherless child, standard stuff, no mentor, no males to look up to, no advise when it can to marring myself, no consul or assistance after graduating from college. Then my father died. He had been so frustrated by the process that he completely gave up on all four of his kids. He died and told no one. I didn't even know he was dead until a year after. I don't where he is buried, no goodbye, nothing.

A child suffering from PAS does not know they are suffering until Dad's dead, and then the torment really begins. Why didn't I make peace with my Dad, Why Why Why??? Ok, know the story gets good, my ex wife from 13 years ago has completely, openly, and continuously, alienated my child. My child now wants nothing to do with me. The ex-wife is a professional divorce law gunslinger. She and her older sister have been married four times each and each time they get better at using the family court. I have been bankrupted, threatened with jail time, and financially destroyed. My only defense is to keep earning more to be able to feed the child support system. All my rights to visit have been removed by false allegations, (that cost five years of visitation) and another four were lost when the ex moved 2000 miles away to avoid visitation. A year ago, I had had enough and I studied PAS. I can't afford a lawyer because of massive child support debts but I still tried. I launched a Petition for custody modification based on PAS. Well, the Lake county Florida family court system showed me who was the boss. They raised my child support arrears from 14K (from 28 month of unemployment over a 13 year period) to 27K, interest, and retroactive increases. Oh and by the way instead of paying $700 per month for no fathers rights or visitation, I know get to pay 1100/ month, and owe the ex's attorney 300 a month on top of that. But hold on, there's more, know I have to pay 4K to her attorney or go jail. (I don't have any money to pay~~~~~~~~so my only hope is to settle. Settle means my daughter and I have been murdered by a vicious and evil woman who uses the idiots who run family law to eliminate one more father. Two generations!!!!! You can't imagine the daily torment that this stuff does to a man.

My son is 3 1/2 years old now and I have only seen him twice now. One of those times was only because the courts ordered the mother back to testify. The mother lives in Texas now and I live in Idaho where at the birth of our child they lived as well until of course she decided I shouldn't see my son. The 2 hours that was ordered by the courts with my son was very stressfull and unpleasant. The meeting place that was set in the court room at a specific time did not happen. I waited for over thirty mins before I called and the mother told me he wasn't feeling well so she took to a Doctor she knew and she said I could go there if I wanted to. I traveled another 30 mins. to get there and of course by the time I got there he was fine. So needless to say my so called court ordered visitation was not working and unproductive. I tried to call all the time and I also send care packages at least once a month but all I get from the mother is he doesn't need me and the stuff I send he either doesn't like or want. I have spent well over $30,000.00 to date to only establish child support, I want to know my son and spend time with him but the mother and the courts seem have a way of delaying this from happening. If some of you are thinking maybe it's because I use drugs or alcohol or maybe even abusive, I have never done either one. I have been on the same job for 16 years and I am also a volunteer coach and all I really want is to be a good dad.

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Where do I begin? Before we separated, mom use to attacked herself i.e. hitting, clawing, screaming I was hurting her. No doubt this freaked my daughters out. She would claim I had AIDS making the girls afraid to be around me. Would tell them I was a homosexual as well a child molestor. She would tell them I killed their dog and cat. I stole all their clothes, toy, and money. Made her, the mom, bi-polar, broke her hip so she couldn't ski, threatened to shoot her etc etc. Their grandmother, my mom, shot into people's houses, considering mom was legally blind, quite the trick. My brother's were drunks, wife-beaters like your father etc. etc. Hey I could go on for weeks. Mom used evry dirty trick in the book, PFAs, he's a child abuser/molestor, dead beat, criminal, you name I've been accused of it. Use this information however you want, it's the truth.

I'm 40 years old mom, my 2children ages 8 and 13 are victims of their father who can not accept our separation In France Parental Alienation is not recongnized by justice We can not speak about that, we have to go in front of the Judge without prononce this term But how to explain that your child you love you take care how explain they refused to speak with you, to say hello and insult you. my son has broken a skate board on me when i have tried to say him i want to stop this horror . I can not accept to stop my visit, at his house or at school I can not accept to give up, i can not accept to do nothing Stop to try to love my children is not acceptable! I will diffuse posters for april the 25 in my village to inform all the people who believe what my husband say about me I m a bad mother I can swear i was not a bad mother I can swear i love my chikdren I can swear I want the better for them Thank you for this website If i can help from my little France I will help be all courageous.

http://FathersWhoCare.blogspot.com Both Glenn and Jeff are fully aware of my efforts to help share my story which is getting out - in spite of the efforts to block my message that Lawyers are the problem within the Family Law system - as it continues to allow them to make the rules and hurt parents and children - everyday...by it continued tactics of hate for one another ina family law setting over money in legal fees - needlessly. You might see why my message has been silenced in the past but was recently published in USA Today. Thank you Glenn and Jeff for helping me and my son.

My daughter, now 15, has been systematically alienated from me by my ex-spouse and her parents. My ex-wife and I separated in 1999 and divorced in 2001, when my daughter was 9 and 11, respectively. At the time of separation, my ex took out several restraining orders (all of which were eventually dismissed)and kept me from seeing my kids for a month. When I established a custodial routine, my kids would report to me consistently how my ex and her parents often "bad-mouthed" me. In about 2002, on the day that I was to take my son (then 5) on a brief camping trip, my ex and her parents got both of my kids to allege that I abused them. These allegations were eventually determined to be groundless by the local police, the court, a court-appointed GAL and the Department of Social Services. When my ex then had my son strapped to a board and taken to a mental hospital for throwing a rather typical chilhood tantrum, the court had enough and ordered that my son should live me with me full time.

Shortly thereafter my daughter began alleging that I was responsible for keeping her from seeing her allegedly "dying" grandfather, who is still alive and in Australia. When I offer to show her court documents which can establish that I have done no such thing, and that I never abused my children, she refuses to listen or look at the documents. Her mother has stopped sending her to therapy and my daughter will not let me find her a decent therapist. My daughter refuses to spend any time with me or to even speak with me on the phone, repeating the canard that I have kept her from seeing her grandfather who is allegedly "dying." Her grandfather, according to court documents filed by my ex, has been allegedly "near death" for at least 3 years, and last summer was well enough to visit the United States. Not surprisingly, the current round of problems with my daughter happens to coincide with the timing of that visit. When my son returns from his infrequent visits with his mother (she refuses to see him most of the time) he tells me (without my asking) that his mother and sister constantly refer to me in profane terms and continue to make allegations against me that my son knows to be untrue. My son also told me that after spending time with his Australian grandparents and uncle last summer he was struck by how much they hated me and were willing to repeatedly express that anger.

I have not seen my daughter for 3.5 months now and I am losing my relationship with her, which had been a wonderful one. Perhaps more importantly, my daughter is also losing her relationship with her brother. He only sees her when he visits his mother, since my daughter is not coming to my place anymore. I have written to my daughter asking her to telephone or e-mail her brother, but she refuses to do so.

My ex-wife who comenced divorce proceedings. I fought first to halt the divorce and when that failed to quicken it to get it over with for everyone's benefit so the healing could begin. My wife and her attorney fought and drew out proceeedings for close to 2 years, just increasing needless pain. I fought from day one to have adequate visitations which she always objected too. After divorce I moved from Hawaii to Florida for a job because the environment was so negative and anti father in Hawaai. My ex-has refused since her divorce was granted in 2002 to ever let the children visit me on the Mainland or to visit my Dad saying I could only visit if I came to Hawaii. That takes time and money. Upon leaving Hawaii for Florida, she also stopped sharing the kids school grades, pics, etc. the divorce decree told her to share. The only contact I had was by telephone or a letter/card from the kids now and then. Then in 2003-4 when I called and I heard her voice in the background while talking to the kids, she did nothing when the children became rude on the phone.

Last year, in 2005, my oldest daughter said she like to get together. I was in 7th heaven. I arranged for us to meet in California and spent a weekend at Disneyland-something she always wanted to do again. At the last minute my ex-intervened, I was in California to meet my daughter but she never showed up-I learned because Mom thought my daughter should study during the Spring break. Now, its like writing to Santa-I send letters and emails and never get a reply. No birthday cards. No thank you for presents. Nothing. Just last week, my youngest, a 14 yrs old boy, blamed me for all of Mom's problems, then slammed the phone down. I love my kids. I am constantly sharing that love in letters to them and letting them know that the door is open, whenever they want I'm here for them. Don't know what else to do. For years I coached all my kids and their friends in soccer, took them to the beach, on outings, trips, camping and now that's all gone. All there is left is the memories. It's painful.

I have been systematically eliminated from my child now past 8 years. My child has been hidden from me for the last 4 years by a vicious mother that has another agenda to take my life. My child has been totally "Alienated" from me by the same mother that will lie in any way she wants to get her way from a court that is bought and paid for by an attorney that advertises with the judge on the Internet.

I have done nothing ever to hurt, abuse or never anything unlawful (always paid my child support but they have at this point stolen over $100,000 in extra money from me) against my former spouse or my child which is causing me great pain. My health is failing dramatically because of the fraud, perjury, denial of Due Process, denail to have an attorney, theft by extortion and making me indigent. I have had 3 friends die or be murdered by judges in the state of New Jersey and I fear for my life as you read this e-mail. This is a GENOCIDE against fathers and children in America. The criminals must be made legally ACCOUNTABLE for their crimes of treason, tyranny, above the law and Constitution and even above the Hitler and Rwanda Genocide. If anyone can help, please do. Children need both parents not just the criminal custodial parent that is teaching our children to be more criminals.

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