Parental Alienation
Awareness Organization

We are grandparents who fight for their grandchildren and we try to help our son who has nearly been destroyed by this battle. At the prestent he is fighting for access rights which were ordered by the court. The mother contempts the court continiously and gets away with it. She is alienating the children and emotional abusing them in any way she can.Both children have been sexualy abused by their mother and new partner which professionals have confirmed. Our story is currently on www.dadsindistress.asn.au/news99.html The names have been removed for legal reasons and to protect the children.

I had discovered from a friend that my 13 year old daughter had been hanging around a downtown restaurant that was frequented by prostitutes. Quite concerned about this I felt I should discuss the matter with her mother. It was my beleif that "we" as her parents should limit her access to the downtown area. I proposed that she be allowed downtown only for specifics and no hanging around. In other words "do what your going to do and straight home. I asked her mother if she agreed and would support what I proposed. She seemed reluctant but said she agreed and would support the choice. That same weekend she took our daughter downtown....upon completing their errand the mother called me to ask if it was alright if our daughter could stay downtown, even though she was coming home. I asked her why she called to ask me, I reminded her of our discussion and choice and asked if she supported the choice. It was at this point I heard her say to our daughter, "your father says you have to go home". When I think back on this I am left to beleive that alienation starts early and is often covert. I think back to dropping my daughter off at daycare and her tears at being left there. I was abandoning her....and at the end of the day her mother would rescue her. In our marriages and relationships we often accept roles and responsibilities, for many that means one parent is the good guy and one isn't. Stop alienating yourself from your kids. If (and when) the relationship goes south all that well layed psychological propaganda will be used against you. Cause after all, divorce today is adverserial, the courts will see to that.

The point I'm trying to make here is.......alienation starts with you, you accept the role. If you don't want to be the smuck don't....... find a better way.....make the effort it's worth it. two years ago I received an email from my daughter. It opened with the words "I'm writing this to you because I can't talk to you". It was quite a lenghthy letter outlining a number of the emotional crimes I had commited against her. I read that letter sometimes 2 or 3 times a day for about 6 months. For most of the letter I couldn't tell if it was written by her or her mother.

My story is one of a young boy aleniated from his father and his grandparents on his mothers side not to mention the rest of his family who love him more than life. I am the maternal grandmother. My daughter got involved with a very controlling man when my grandson was three years old. My daughter and my grandson moved in with this man and he does not want my grandson having anything to do with his real father, grandparents on both sides, cousin, Aunts and Uncles. My grandson was born and raised with all of us and now he only gets to come over once every month or two. When he is here he loves it. He is allowed to be a child. He was never allowed that with my daughters boyfriend. He cries when he has to go back to bootcamp. This child is going to be 11 this year. I can only wish he were old enough to leave his situation and be free of this man. This year he will probably fail his grade in school. He has been in 4 different schools and is in grade 5. He is an only child and a very lonely child as has been mentioned to me by people who know his situation at home. I want so badly to free him but I dont want to take him from his mother. Being a grandmother there is nothing I can do to help him.

The agony just goes on day after day. He is constantly told that his father is no good and that he is useless. I can only imagine the pain that this child is in with nobody to help him. Please let there be something that we can do for him?  There is so much more going on here, much too much to tell...Thankyou for listening

I met my ex-wife (‘X’) in 1991. She was divorced with a two year old daughter (‘A’). She concentrated a lot of effort bad mouthing her first husband in front of ‘A’, and suggesting that ‘A’ would be happier not seeing her father regularly. This alienation worked and ‘A’ had very limited contact with her father.

 

‘X’ would tell ‘A’ that she could go to see her daddy or she could have "more fun at home with mummy". ‘X’ would invent special occasions to entice ‘A’ to say that she wanted to stay with mummy and not visit her daddy. Unfortunately, her father let this happen and did not exercise or insist on his rights.

Now years later ’X’ is trying to alienate my own children against me.

I married ‘X’ in 1994. Our first daughter was born in 1995. Things very quickly changed. ‘X’ became very moody and sometimes violent toward me and the children.

 

When ‘A’ was about seven she received a small dolls set for Christmas from my brother. A few days after Christmas ‘X’ was annoyed that ‘A's bedroom was untidy so she smashed the toy under her foot in front of ‘A’ and warned her that if the room was not kept tidy she would do the same to the other toys. This is just one of hundreds of examples.

 

The violence was also physical and ‘A’ was often slapped and pushed around.

 

In 2001 a neighbour complained to Social Services about ‘X’ hitting ‘A’ in the face. They interviewed ‘A’ and the police were called. ‘X’ received a warning for her behaviour.

 

We had two daughters of our own.

 

Our relationship deteriorated to the point where I would fear returning home from work and would find any excuse to take the children out for the day.

 

A few years ago I discovered ‘X’ was having an affair. I left her and after a difficult period we divorced. She moved her boyfriend into my house and she still lives with him. I recently discovered he has criminal convictions for offences against young girls, but that is in the hands of my lawyers. In the meantime I see my children almost every weekend. It is difficult as I have to rely on their mother to make them available and the UK legal system is so anti-male I am struggling to protect my children. I gave ‘X’ enough money to buy a house for her and the children (and her boyfriend!) and every month pay a lot of maintenance. My children stay most weekends but their mother often tries to make excuses to stop my access - it is only by standing my ground and putting my children’s interests first that I continue to see them. I have to put them first even if their mother is intent on using them as a means of getting more money from me.

 

About 9 months after we separated I met a girl who turned my life around. She had two children from a previous marriage herself. All the children get on brilliantly.

 

'A' chose to come to live with me (and my new girlfriend). She could not forgive her mother for her violence or continue to live in the same house as her. She recently moved out into her own flat (she is now 17) and I see her most weekends. I continued to support her as my own child for all that time but also made sure she built a relationship with her father.

 

I do not know what the future will bring but I will keep fighting for the protection of my children. I know there are good and bad mothers and fathers but the legal system (and UK political parties) are so anti-male they are creating an atmosphere where children are at increased risk. Unless we put a stop to the unjust situation and we allow children to be loved by both parents equally we will continue to see an increase in antisocial behaviour, insecurity and fear where none should exist, increasing in turn divorce, arguments and further levels of abuse.

 

It is important for alienated parents to stand their ground and fight for their rights, not for themselves but for their children. Children need to develop in a loving environment and both parents owe it to their child to put their personal feelings to the back and put their children first.

 

I tell my children I love them every day and they know that I will always be there for them despite their mothers evil comments.

 

I urge all parents in similar situations never to give up. We owe it to our children to make a change for the better.

I am a targeted NonCustodial mother.  I live in Missouri and my 10yr old daughter lives in Houston.  I can not even begin to touch, what PA has done to destroy my relationship with my daughter.  I found your site, and I want to do WHATEVER I can, my close friends and family too, to help my daughter and all other children and parents.  I have a fire in my belly that has finally pushed me to speak out and bring awareness to PA.  Missouri is still behind on PA, but my case is now in Harris County, and I am ready to fight for my daughter! 

My sons mother has 1) refused a divorce decree that was 100% + attorney fees of what she asked for, has not allowed me any medical or school records for 15 years plus tried charging me $80 (I paid $240 while waiting) a month for insurance without any access or proof. 2) She would violently shake my son to make him cry (when I would get him) when 3+, "children cry when they leave their mothers." 3) refused to put my son on the plane when he was 6+, I had been flying to Phoenix from Colorado, renting car getting room, and flying him home while having to reverse the procedure on the return (pickup and drop-off were chosen by her and I could not pickup or drop-off the same day I flew), "If you can afford to see your son you can afford to pay me more." 4) Recorded phone conversations between me and my son, eventually refused us phone contact. 5) Refused to give my son gifts from me and letters, she threw a gift (unopened from me) onto the yard while I was getting my son and then she grabbed it and threw it into the trash barrel. 6) She refused to give me pickup and drop-off times until it was within 7 days of departure when ticket prices were as high as $1,200 (even from Colorado Springs). 7) Rubbed human feces on my sons face and torso: My son was going 7 days between defections and was wetting the bed at 15, he said, "I'm living in the eye of a storm." 8) I was deprived visitation for over 2 years while I paid child support because I wouldn't pay the medical bills she wouldn't give me! 9) I've had to travel to Phoenix 4-5 times to enforce visitation. 10) She's hired men to confront me! She's not Borderline Personality Disorder but psychotic.

When I had my son I could get him to go without bed wetting and soiling his pants, when I got him back (after the 2 years) there was no desire, on his part, to stop the bed wetting and control the constipation but there was treatment here! I only got my son after stopping support, but he was begging me to keep him, send money for a ticket, or kidnap him, this is when I found out about the feces being rubbed on him. I'm sure there are things I've forgotten like sending him to Colorado with T's, shorts, and sandals when it's a blizzard (she's a skier).

So, now I'm the villain, I've been to court and been thrown in jail even though this has all been documented through the quasi branches of government such as child protective services and expedited visitation as well as with my attorney and the court. I now have an arrest warrant in Phoenix, for me. My son turns 18 in 2 years and will get no treatment but to be jailed if he acts like his mother, I'm fighting for my sons life, my life is ruined.

My Story : I had discovered from a friend that my 13 year old daughter had been hanging around a downtown restaurant that was frequented by prostitutes. Quite concerned about this I felt I should discuss the matter with her mother. It was my beleif that "we" as her parents should limit her access to the downtown area. I proposed that she be allowed downtown only for specifics and no hanging around. In other words "do what your going to do and straight home. I asked her mother if she agreed and would support what I proposed. She seemed reluctant but said she agreed and would support the choice. That same weekend she took our daughter downtown....upon completing their errand the mother called me to ask if it was alright if our daughter could stay downtown, even though she was coming home. I asked her why she called to ask me, I reminded her of our discussion and choice and asked if she supported the choice. It was at this point I heard her say to our daughter, "your father says you have to go home". When I think back on this I am left to beleive that alienation starts early and is often covert. I think back to dropping my daughter off at daycare and her tears at being left there. I was abandoning her....and at the end of the day her mother would rescue her. In our marriages and relationships we often accept roles and responsibilities, for many that means one parent is the good guy and one isn't. Stop alienating yourself from your kids. If (and when) the relationship goes south all that well layed psychological propaganda will be used against you. Cause after all, divorce today is adverserial, the courts will see to that. The point I'm trying to make here is.......alienation starts with you, you accept the role. If you don't want to be the smuck don't....... find a better way.....make the effort it's worth it. two years ago I received an email from my daughter. It opened with the words "I'm writing this to you because I can't talk to you". It was quite a lenghthy letter outlining a number of the emotional crimes I had commited against her. I read that letter sometimes 2 or 3 times a day for about 6 months. For most of the letter I couldn't tell if it was written by her or her mother.

I am both a child of an alienating parent and a targeted parent. While my mother simply was neutral about my father my older sister applied enough peer influence to in effect erase my father from my life. I didn't even know what happened. All went as bad as life can go for a fatherless child, standard stuff, no mentor, no males to look up to, no advise when it can to marring myself, no consul or assistance after graduating from college. Then my father died. He had been so frustrated by the process that he completely gave up on all four of his kids. He died and told no one. I didn't even know he was dead until a year after. I don't where he is buried, no goodbye, nothing.

A child suffering from PAS does not know they are suffering until Dad's dead, and then the torment really begins. Why didn't I make peace with my Dad, Why Why Why??? Ok, know the story gets good, my ex wife from 13 years ago has completely, openly, and continuously, alienated my child. My child now wants nothing to do with me. The ex-wife is a professional divorce law gunslinger. She and her older sister have been married four times each and each time they get better at using the family court. I have been bankrupted, threatened with jail time, and financially destroyed. My only defense is to keep earning more to be able to feed the child support system. All my rights to visit have been removed by false allegations, (that cost five years of visitation) and another four were lost when the ex moved 2000 miles away to avoid visitation. A year ago, I had had enough and I studied PAS. I can't afford a lawyer because of massive child support debts but I still tried. I launched a Petition for custody modification based on PAS. Well, the Lake county Florida family court system showed me who was the boss. They raised my child support arrears from 14K (from 28 month of unemployment over a 13 year period) to 27K, interest, and retroactive increases. Oh and by the way instead of paying $700 per month for no fathers rights or visitation, I know get to pay 1100/ month, and owe the ex's attorney 300 a month on top of that. But hold on, there's more, know I have to pay 4K to her attorney or go jail. (I don't have any money to pay~~~~~~~~so my only hope is to settle. Settle means my daughter and I have been murdered by a vicious and evil woman who uses the idiots who run family law to eliminate one more father. Two generations!!!!! You can't imagine the daily torment that this stuff does to a man.

My son is 3 1/2 years old now and I have only seen him twice now. One of those times was only because the courts ordered the mother back to testify. The mother lives in Texas now and I live in Idaho where at the birth of our child they lived as well until of course she decided I shouldn't see my son. The 2 hours that was ordered by the courts with my son was very stressfull and unpleasant. The meeting place that was set in the court room at a specific time did not happen. I waited for over thirty mins before I called and the mother told me he wasn't feeling well so she took to a Doctor she knew and she said I could go there if I wanted to. I traveled another 30 mins. to get there and of course by the time I got there he was fine. So needless to say my so called court ordered visitation was not working and unproductive. I tried to call all the time and I also send care packages at least once a month but all I get from the mother is he doesn't need me and the stuff I send he either doesn't like or want. I have spent well over $30,000.00 to date to only establish child support, I want to know my son and spend time with him but the mother and the courts seem have a way of delaying this from happening. If some of you are thinking maybe it's because I use drugs or alcohol or maybe even abusive, I have never done either one. I have been on the same job for 16 years and I am also a volunteer coach and all I really want is to be a good dad.

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Where do I begin? Before we separated, mom use to attacked herself i.e. hitting, clawing, screaming I was hurting her. No doubt this freaked my daughters out. She would claim I had AIDS making the girls afraid to be around me. Would tell them I was a homosexual as well a child molestor. She would tell them I killed their dog and cat. I stole all their clothes, toy, and money. Made her, the mom, bi-polar, broke her hip so she couldn't ski, threatened to shoot her etc etc. Their grandmother, my mom, shot into people's houses, considering mom was legally blind, quite the trick. My brother's were drunks, wife-beaters like your father etc. etc. Hey I could go on for weeks. Mom used evry dirty trick in the book, PFAs, he's a child abuser/molestor, dead beat, criminal, you name I've been accused of it. Use this information however you want, it's the truth.

I'm 40 years old mom, my 2children ages 8 and 13 are victims of their father who can not accept our separation In France Parental Alienation is not recongnized by justice We can not speak about that, we have to go in front of the Judge without prononce this term But how to explain that your child you love you take care how explain they refused to speak with you, to say hello and insult you. my son has broken a skate board on me when i have tried to say him i want to stop this horror . I can not accept to stop my visit, at his house or at school I can not accept to give up, i can not accept to do nothing Stop to try to love my children is not acceptable! I will diffuse posters for april the 25 in my village to inform all the people who believe what my husband say about me I m a bad mother I can swear i was not a bad mother I can swear i love my chikdren I can swear I want the better for them Thank you for this website If i can help from my little France I will help be all courageous.

http://FathersWhoCare.blogspot.com Both Glenn and Jeff are fully aware of my efforts to help share my story which is getting out - in spite of the efforts to block my message that Lawyers are the problem within the Family Law system - as it continues to allow them to make the rules and hurt parents and children - everyday...by it continued tactics of hate for one another ina family law setting over money in legal fees - needlessly. You might see why my message has been silenced in the past but was recently published in USA Today. Thank you Glenn and Jeff for helping me and my son.

My daughter, now 15, has been systematically alienated from me by my ex-spouse and her parents. My ex-wife and I separated in 1999 and divorced in 2001, when my daughter was 9 and 11, respectively. At the time of separation, my ex took out several restraining orders (all of which were eventually dismissed)and kept me from seeing my kids for a month. When I established a custodial routine, my kids would report to me consistently how my ex and her parents often "bad-mouthed" me. In about 2002, on the day that I was to take my son (then 5) on a brief camping trip, my ex and her parents got both of my kids to allege that I abused them. These allegations were eventually determined to be groundless by the local police, the court, a court-appointed GAL and the Department of Social Services. When my ex then had my son strapped to a board and taken to a mental hospital for throwing a rather typical chilhood tantrum, the court had enough and ordered that my son should live me with me full time.

Shortly thereafter my daughter began alleging that I was responsible for keeping her from seeing her allegedly "dying" grandfather, who is still alive and in Australia. When I offer to show her court documents which can establish that I have done no such thing, and that I never abused my children, she refuses to listen or look at the documents. Her mother has stopped sending her to therapy and my daughter will not let me find her a decent therapist. My daughter refuses to spend any time with me or to even speak with me on the phone, repeating the canard that I have kept her from seeing her grandfather who is allegedly "dying." Her grandfather, according to court documents filed by my ex, has been allegedly "near death" for at least 3 years, and last summer was well enough to visit the United States. Not surprisingly, the current round of problems with my daughter happens to coincide with the timing of that visit. When my son returns from his infrequent visits with his mother (she refuses to see him most of the time) he tells me (without my asking) that his mother and sister constantly refer to me in profane terms and continue to make allegations against me that my son knows to be untrue. My son also told me that after spending time with his Australian grandparents and uncle last summer he was struck by how much they hated me and were willing to repeatedly express that anger.

I have not seen my daughter for 3.5 months now and I am losing my relationship with her, which had been a wonderful one. Perhaps more importantly, my daughter is also losing her relationship with her brother. He only sees her when he visits his mother, since my daughter is not coming to my place anymore. I have written to my daughter asking her to telephone or e-mail her brother, but she refuses to do so.

My ex-wife who comenced divorce proceedings. I fought first to halt the divorce and when that failed to quicken it to get it over with for everyone's benefit so the healing could begin. My wife and her attorney fought and drew out proceeedings for close to 2 years, just increasing needless pain. I fought from day one to have adequate visitations which she always objected too. After divorce I moved from Hawaii to Florida for a job because the environment was so negative and anti father in Hawaai. My ex-has refused since her divorce was granted in 2002 to ever let the children visit me on the Mainland or to visit my Dad saying I could only visit if I came to Hawaii. That takes time and money. Upon leaving Hawaii for Florida, she also stopped sharing the kids school grades, pics, etc. the divorce decree told her to share. The only contact I had was by telephone or a letter/card from the kids now and then. Then in 2003-4 when I called and I heard her voice in the background while talking to the kids, she did nothing when the children became rude on the phone.

Last year, in 2005, my oldest daughter said she like to get together. I was in 7th heaven. I arranged for us to meet in California and spent a weekend at Disneyland-something she always wanted to do again. At the last minute my ex-intervened, I was in California to meet my daughter but she never showed up-I learned because Mom thought my daughter should study during the Spring break. Now, its like writing to Santa-I send letters and emails and never get a reply. No birthday cards. No thank you for presents. Nothing. Just last week, my youngest, a 14 yrs old boy, blamed me for all of Mom's problems, then slammed the phone down. I love my kids. I am constantly sharing that love in letters to them and letting them know that the door is open, whenever they want I'm here for them. Don't know what else to do. For years I coached all my kids and their friends in soccer, took them to the beach, on outings, trips, camping and now that's all gone. All there is left is the memories. It's painful.

I have been systematically eliminated from my child now past 8 years. My child has been hidden from me for the last 4 years by a vicious mother that has another agenda to take my life. My child has been totally "Alienated" from me by the same mother that will lie in any way she wants to get her way from a court that is bought and paid for by an attorney that advertises with the judge on the Internet.

I have done nothing ever to hurt, abuse or never anything unlawful (always paid my child support but they have at this point stolen over $100,000 in extra money from me) against my former spouse or my child which is causing me great pain. My health is failing dramatically because of the fraud, perjury, denial of Due Process, denail to have an attorney, theft by extortion and making me indigent. I have had 3 friends die or be murdered by judges in the state of New Jersey and I fear for my life as you read this e-mail. This is a GENOCIDE against fathers and children in America. The criminals must be made legally ACCOUNTABLE for their crimes of treason, tyranny, above the law and Constitution and even above the Hitler and Rwanda Genocide. If anyone can help, please do. Children need both parents not just the criminal custodial parent that is teaching our children to be more criminals.

I have gone 25 months since 9/93 with no contact with my daughter. All of this is because my ex mother in law got my daughter to say, "daddy made pee pee on me." when she was 4 yr. old. This launched a criminal investigation that threatened me with prison, loss of license to practice medicine, and civil liability (which mommy would be happy to file against me on my daughter&'s behalf.) No criminal charges were filed and of course the judge, way in over his head (a corporate attorney 6 months earlier with no training, credentials, or experience with false allegations of abuse) hid behind the statement, "if one must err, one must err on the side of the safety of the child." He acted like he was a "hero" because he put the safety of the child first.

Naturally, the fact that a mother who is incapable of having a normal relationship with a man is raising my child in a father absent environment was of no concern to him. I launched a custody trial trying to protect my daughter from the abuses of the system. My attorney got me what he considered to be the "best expert in the world, spare no money". His name is Richard Gardner, MD. In the words of the family court social worker, he "wrote the book on true and false allegations of child sex abuse." Meantime mommy had 15 months to alienate my daughter against me by telling her that I was "naughty" and "why else would the judge side with her?" Dr. Gardner opined that I should be given liberal placement and that mommy was guilty of PAS (parental alienation syndrome). Mommy's expert opined that I suffered from transient psychosis and of course molested my daughter. Her court appointed attorney; (fresh out of law school) hired an expert at my expense. He opined that I suffered from paranoid schizophrenia and of course molested her. There was no physical evidence and I passed a polygraph test (inadmissible). The judge took the side of the system and ruled Gardner as not credible. He justified his ruling by saying that I was "angry" and "had lost it". What exactly he means by this, I have no clue.

What they did was bash me in the face and then tell me I am "angry" for reacting by fighting. Following this, my attorney filed a civil suit against my daughter s attorney and his expert for intentional infliction of emotional damage. They are immune. I had to pay them $70,000 or go to jail. Recently, I was hauled into court and held in contempt merely for exercising my freedom of speech by publicizing my horror story. They wanted to throw me in jail for 30 days with no work release, causing me to lose my job, fall behind in my child support payments which would then automatically disallow me from renewing my license to practice medicine, and create the criminal they so want to create. (The criminalization of fathers). The only reason they can't is because they know I will appeal. I have in the past appealed decisions; however, the appellate court made it clear that they will stick up for the judge unless he makes an obvious blunder (I hope that means throwing a law abiding, child support paying dad in jail merely for exercising his freedom of speech). I have no "skeletons" in my closet. No arrest record, history of mental disorders. I am 44 years old with a CV as long as your arm. Your basic success story. The fact that my father died when I was 6 and was raised by my mother was used against me as if somehow someway, that meant I was sexually deviant. How can this happen? I am literally and figuratively speaking impotent to do anything but try to change the system so that the next person won&'t have it so tough.

My story happens all the time. The only difference between me and 99% of other victims is that I have the will and the means to fight. They want me to either walk away as most people in my shoes do, or agree to go to "therapy" by their hand picked "therapist". I can't ask what I am being treated for because they won't tell me. They just want to cover their rear incase any of this pops up in the future they can justify their actions by saying "of ! ! course he molested her, why else would he have agreed to go for therapy?" They would then trot out their handpicked "therapist" and ask him/her to state what exactly they gave me therapy for. The answer of course would then be, "for molesting his daughter." This is how the game is played.

When I am allowed contact, I must be strictly supervised by the same supervisor since 11/94 who. She charges $45 per hour. My 86 year old mother, my 47 year old sister and her 3 children must also be supervised at all times at my expense. My current wife, a kindergarten teacher and Master&'s Degree professional and her 9-year-old daughter are not allowed to be alone with my daughter. I must pay her in advance, or I don't see my daughter. When on the visits, she must remain within earshot at all times and I am strictly forbidden to say or do anything about mommy, her family, the court or its agents, child support etc etc etc. In addition, I must remain in a public place at all times. If I disobey the order, I go to jail for 30 days with no work release. Naturally, Mommy was allowed to move back home to her mother in Illinois, which requires me to pay $200 in adva! ! nce for travel cost and time just to get to Illinois, time spent with my daughter is of course extra and at my expense. Overnights or vacations away are strictly forbidden. When allowed, contact averages 6-9 hours per month. Child support is set at $5,123.00 per month for one child paid to a physician mother who uses the money to pay experts and attorneys to keep me from my daughter. Recently, the Racine County Child Support Division won an award as being the second most efficient division in the State. As one of their cases I can say that divorce and custody determination is a winner take all battle that encourages conflict, hurts children, and deprives them of the parental involvement they need and deserve from both parents.

As a result of being raised in a father absent environment, research has shown that my daughter will suffer an increased chance of teenage pregnancy, behavioral disorders, alcohol and drug abuse, suicide, adult depression, low self esteem, and problems with adult male relationships among other problems. A strong physical presence of the biologic father in a child's life helps to protect against these ills. Wisconsin may be the dairy state, but fathers are not cash cows. How would you like it if your child was taken from you against your will, allowed to move out of state, and your "parenting time" limited to a handful of supervised hours per month? How and why does this happen? There are several reasons, but the most compelling reason is because counties receive federal matching funds for every dollar of child support assessed, whether dad pays or not. Money is more important to the system than parental involvement.

At this time, I'd like to take partial credit for this award as my contribution of over $410,000.00 to date in child support assessed for one child is paid in full. This means that according to their statement, "more children in our county are receiving the support they are entitled to and which they need, and that means less reliance on public support or non-profit agencies or private charities. These children are receiving better housing, better nutrition and more stability because both their parents are taking proper responsibility for them." You're welcome, Racine County Child Support Division and thank you very little. I apologize for being so lengthy, but you asked for it. God bless you and I wish you well.

I was on active duty in the U.S. army when I divorced my first wife. She in turn abducted our son, to Germany. I never saw him again. I left the service and became an attorney because of this crisis. However, nothing replaced the loss of my little boy. He in turn neither wrote nor called. Letters sent to his home address where never answered.

My Story : I am a divorced father who had court ordered visitation with my children. Over the years I have paid child support except for a 1 year period when I was unemployed. I have two children, a son who is 16 and a daughter who is 12. I have not seen my son since he was a baby. His mother moved out of state on the same day the child support order was finalized. She also refused to show up at the visitation hearing with the courts. I used to have her address and phone number but two years ago my mail begin to be returned and the phone was disconnected. She still has family in the city I live in and visits them so I have been told. I have asked her in the past about being allowed to exercise my visitation rights with my son and she indicated that she was agreeable, yet she has done nothing to try and cooperate with me in doing so. The courts have told me that since she lives out of state there is nothing they can do to enforce the visitation. My 12 year old daughter lives with my ex-wife. They live within 2 miles of me. I have court ordered visitation with her also. When I tried to exercise my visitation with her my ex slammed the door in my face in front of my daughter. When I took the police I didn't have the divorce decree outlining the visitation so they did nothing. I can talk on the phone with my daughter but only if it's at a time that her mother wishes or if my daughter answers the phone. Her mother has hung up the phone on me numerous times when I have called and asked for my daughter which is in violation of our visitation agreement. I try to get involved with school problems my daughter has experienced but her mother refused to even discuss anything with me and the schools say they cannot give me any information because her mother has told them not to. With both of my children, I am paying child support and paying for family medical benefits which take up a large portion of my income and has never been refused by either my son's mother or my ex-wife. This makes it seem as if my financial support is wanted, but my support as a father is not..... Please note, my son's mother was not a woman who I was fooling around with while married. We had a relationship before I met and married my ex-wife. I do not want people to think that I was just trying to populate the world.

long story short...ex-wife refused to allow my four girls to communicate, or see me, and is still doing so. It has been 10 years since I have seen my littlest daughter. I was not invited to the wedding of my oldest daughter. The girls are under constant threat not to mention my name or communicate with me, nor see me. Previously, it was "no-pay/no play", but now since the money issue can no longer be used as a ploy, it is just nasty, vindictive, hateful behavior. I believe the ex's addictions, past and present, surely contribute to her behavior. The family court system allows this behavior, even encourages it, due to the lack of any system of checks or balances.

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My ex-girlfriend and I have a 3 yr. old daughter together. We have been separated though since she was 1 1/2 yrs old. The mother now lives in Waco, Texas and I in Dallas, TX. There is no formal custody yet because she's not in school. I get her 2 wks and her mom gets her 2 wks. Almost every other time the mother doesn't give her back. Then following that conversation, the mother will have my daughter call and tell me things like "I don't want to come back to your house. I don't want to see you ever again." "You are mean to me because you make me take naps and put me in daycare." It tears me up inside but deep down I know it's just the mother being immature and alienating our daughter from me.

My daughter is treated like she deserves to be treated when she's here with me in Dallas. She has her own room, bed, bathroom, ton of toys & movies. She doesn't have all those things at her mom's but yet she still seems to be brainwashed into thinking I'm the bad person. What's a father who cares immensely to do? I'm hoping one day, even if I don't get custody of her that she will realize how much I did for her and how much I love her.

I was in a situation where my ex wife took off with my child about christmas 1992,I was at work and she had destroyed all of the things, while i was at work. I came home that evening and found she was gone. After that she took off with my child back to her home state.And i tryed contacting them and finally did.So i took a trip out there and got my child from her,then she came back and took off with my child again.

Then I had not seen my child since she was 5 yrs old.Then when my ex sisterinlaw got guardinship of them i never saw my daughter up until 3yrs ago saying she was back in state custody.I was so devastated of not knowing where my child was or if she was being taken care of. Until i saw her again 3 yrs ago.Now i can only talk to her on the phone she is still in state custody,and we speak every week.So if it was not for this i would not have contact with my daughter.

LONG STORY, short version: My x-wife has been diagnosed with a paranoid personality disorder, and has systematically alienated our 2 children from me, and my family, over the past several years. In the eyes of our children i am to blame for all that has happened and i have 'ruined their lives' ! My x has no family remaining(parents deceased, an only child), and is basically (ab)using the children to meet her own emotional needs. My x filed a false PFA against me to have me taken out our home, and then subsequently divorced me. (a blessing in disguise!) BUT, by the grace of GOD, and perseverance and much prayer, our 15yo son is now in my full custody with NO contact with his 'mother', while a custody evaluation is to be conducted, per my request/court order. However my 18yo daughter, remains sadly, cruelly and unjustly alienated and brainwashed by her controlling manipulative intimidating mother,(and may even have an eating disorder), as a result of the FOG(fear, oppression, guilt) she has been living under, for over 5 long years now.

I do not know how to convince/'rescue' our daughter (and son, for that matter) They need to have the scales removed from their eyes and hearts, to be able to see the truth of this twisted life and half-truths/lies they have been told for TOO long... I can only keep #1 praying, #2 loving them, and #3 showing them love and patience... They are living in oppressive slavery, a 'village', as depicted by the movie "The Village", by M Night 'Shamylan'. They are living under an unfounded "FEAR" --- "False Evidence Appearing Real" !!! GOD will free them in HIS timing, from this wickedness... Time for healing is needed, and GOD is the HOPE against all HOPE ! Thank you for your time and for reading my(our) story...

My Story : To whom it may concern: On January, 29th, 2003,A School-Principal, a CPS-worker, and a Washington County Sheriff's Deputy [Washington County, Utah] entered into a U.S. Code TITLE 18, Sec. 241 (conpiracy against rights) against myself and my family. The resulting police incursion alienated me and my wife (The Natural Parents) of our 8 1/2 year old son for 60 days. We were arrested on a presumption of "Child Abuse" and when we resisted an unlawful arrest, they (The attacking sheriff's) charged me and my wife with Felony Charges, and retained us for an ungodly amount of Bail. On December 4th, 2003, A Fifth-District Juvenile Court Judge, terminated our Parental Rights, on no more than the opinions of the so-called "experts." These people, including public pretenders intentionally fabricated and acted upon a consciencely decided genocide of myself and family. My wife and I had never been accused of abuse or neglect until we sent our son to Public School. The last Day we (The natural parents) were permitted to see our son was December 17th, 2003, and we have heard through the grape vine that he has now been shuffled to his fourth foster home. Is there anybody who can challenge these malevolent people?

My Story : I am a stay at home day and have been the primary caregiver for my two children and stepchild for over four years. As of late my partner and I were not seeing eye to eye aobut finances and turned into me being a mentally and physicaly abusive spouse and father. We went to see a phcycologist to what i thought was patch up out relationship and work on our problems. Turns out she wanted me to be assesed for anger management issues. First thing she said was that we have been separated for over 2 months and were just living together. Did not see that coming or feel that way as we were still sharing the same bed. This was all followed by how she did not feel safe around me and that she feared for the kids. I am completely beside myself at this point. I knew the possibillity of us breaking up was there and no very real at this point. But she was making me out to be a monster. She has been telling people that i kick my dog and that I push and smack my step-daughter around. She even went as far as saying that she thought she heard me shaking the baby, my one year old son the only other male in the house. I couldnt believe all of the stuff coming out of her mouth. As soon as I left the meeting it became all to clear what had happened. From her packing extra clothes for the kids as she set up her mom to take the kids while we were at this meeting. The packing of abnormally extra diapers for the morning. Turns out this has been planned out for some time. I spoke to my daughter last night and she told me that mommy her brother and her were moving into there grandparents house. I have been left broken hearted and with out my children that i have cared for since there very first breath. From the time I witnessed them come into this world I was there for them. There mother would work right up until the very end of the pregnancy and then a couple of months after be right back to work. I am managing a modest home based business that allows me to stay home with the kids. I bottle fed both of them as soon as there mom was ready to work and pump the breast milk. I take the kids to the park just about everyday depending on weather. I take the youngest two swimming three times a week while the oldest is in school. I make sure they have healthy meals three times a day plus snacks. I do wverything in my abilities to keep them safe from harm. I have been teaching my three year old daughter, my little angel, numbers and the alphabet with flash cards and rewards. Everyone that i have ever run into that sees me with my kids and knows that I am a stay at home dad says how wonderful it is for what I am doing and what a good job i have done as the kids are so well behaved. I feel like i just had my heart ripped out and stolen from.

My Story : My partner has been a victim of PAS ever since he split up with his wife in 2001. His ex-wife has routinely told his children that he doesn't love them anymore, that he abandones them and that he doesn't support them financially - none of which are true. She has also talked to the children about the divorce and involved them in things that they should never have been party to at their tender age. As a result of her mind games my eldest step-son is severly damaged and has developed an eating disorder, the eldest daughter has severe behavioural problems and the youngest lacks self-esteem and is very introverted. It's so sad as my poor partner has had to go through the courts to even be able to see his children and she still doesn't stick to the court order. The only real losers in this situation are her children who will carry this baggage throughout their lives. In England there is no acknowledgement of PAS in the courts and they very often favour the parent with care over the parent applying for contact. Hopefully PAS will become more publicised over here and Judges in the Family Courts will begin to realise it actually exists.

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