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Letters from parents
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My Story: I am currently involved in a custody case in the Michigan courts. My ex-husband is actively involved with alienating my children. The family appointments with the court appointed psychologist are now complete and I've already pestered him with messages since the last appointment, but now I'm more aware of PAS and I'd like to let him know that I believe my children exhibit all the signs of PAS. He knows of many of the details--should I trust that he knows what PAS is? Does anyone have advice on the best way to approach the expert on this matter? My children believe that my ex's money troubles are my fault. I just spent the weekend with the children, my son is 6 and daughter is 5. My son is actively involved with soccer with his father's inluence. My daughter has shown no interest in soccer, despite her father's insistence. When she asks to enroll in classes where HER interest lies (music or art) her father tells her he doesn't have money because of the divorce, and to ask me for the money. My son has gotten gifts of money from my side of the family, to pick out something for himself, and he says he wants to give it to his Dad because he has no money. The are frequently told to ask their mom for things they want. My children are afraid to tell me about their lives at their Dad's house. My daughter gave me a batch of pictures she created, and she was describing each to me. When she came to a page with two girls, she got very upset that it wasn't included and refused to talk about it. When I asked if it was her father's girlfriend, she said she wasn't allowed to talk about her with me. My daughter can no longer sleep independently--she sleeps in her Dad's bed at the age of 5 almost every night. When I try to talk to her about it, she says she's not supposed to talk about it. When she takes a shower, she always wants me to shower with her--she's afraid to shower alone. My son has moments when he is focused on a specific bad memory, that he says his father blames on me. When I try to soothe my son, he only says, "Dad says it is all YOUR fault" and continues to cry and refuses to listen to me. My children know details about the divorce and repeatedly ask me about them. My daughter cries and says "Why are you so mean to my Dad?" or "Why are you always fighting with my Dad?" They hear their Dad discussing the case and disparaging me with other people. I hope and pray that the courts will see what he is doing to our children and rule accordingly. |
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the last day i seen my grandson he said mammaw i'll love you for every and every no matter what happen's , I said i will you too. He and his little brother were adopted last sept 30th His adopted family just inform his mother he had a nervius break down the reason she was told about this she called to wish him a happy birthday and was told she could'nt talk to him.
The day they took his 11 year old sister away she was put in a shelter out of school for 6 months cps had no where else to put her her next home was in lock down with older teenagers, after a year there she has been in 36 foster care homes ran away 3 times only for police to pick her up and take her back the last time she ran away they put her in a home where she call me and said the foster dad pops beer cans open as he drives them to walmart. I gave her a ipod so it would go off at 8 o clock to remind her so we would be saying our hail mary's together the 18 teen year old daughter of the foster family took it, the reason my granddaughter knew this she would hear it go off in the girls room at 8 'o' clock every night.
On thankgiving she sat in the yard all day while the foster family and friends had dinner, after dinner she got a can of chicken noodle soup and was made to clean up the kithen. She said the water smells like dirty rotten eggs i've not seen her in over a year, and i have begged cps to let my grandkids live with me but they wont even talk to me.
The last time i talk to her she said mammaw i set in the yard watching for your gray thunderbird to come up the road and take me home. My grandkids are the world to me, the love they have in their little hearts for me a foster family can never replace, i hope they dont grow up to hate but i fear they will. This much i do know, they were loved and they knew love. I hope and pray that every state will have a ombudsman to investgate cps the family law judges and not take kids away from their home and loved ones on hear say's |
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I have witnessed parental alienation first hand by the mother of my husbands son. My husband) and his ex-wife were not married when their son was born, and as they were so young (19 and 22) their relationship broke down when their son was just a baby.
The boy is now 8 years old and for the whole of his life he has suffered this child abuse by his mother. Whenever my husband's ex-wife feels like it she stops contact between father and son. His son is extremely confused and gets upset by what is going on. I have heard my husband's ex-wife's fiance (who is an incredibly angry and violent man) refer to the child as "a f*cking c*nt" on many occasions in front of him, and one can only hope that these actions don't have any lasting damaging effect on my husband's son. |
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I am in Australia and am a victim of parental alienation. I left my husband due to domestic violence and I have a 12 year old daugher and 19 year old son still with my husband. It has been almost 8 months and I have had no contact with my daughter because she does not want any contact with me and my son repeatedly abuses me on the phone or text messages and says the same unless I go back.
I know that they have been influenced by their father as he has badmouthed me and responsible for turning them against me. He has done everything in his power to isolate my daughter from me as I was isolated from my family and friends for many years, including suicide threats and disappearing after the property is sold. I really fear for my children. I do have a 17 year old daugher with me because of the abuse she was experiencing also I discovered Parental Alienation approximately 2 months ago and have spend endless hours educating myself on this. I am having difficulty convincing attorneys, child protective services and schools as to the severity of this and the damage it is causing my daughter.
I have tried endlessly with letters, phone, text messages to contact my daughter but have not been successful. It will go to court soon and I fear that because she wants to stay with her father and have no contact with me that the courts will grant her wishes but I know deep down this is not what she really wants. No body is taking this serious and I am just devastated and don't know where to turn. I seem to come across as an overwrought mother and just hit a brick wall. Nobody is listening and it just breaks my heart. I will do anything to save my kids. Regards, Desperate mom. |
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I would happy to share my case to your parental alienation group, as I believe this new age sad & evil indictment for so many children should be exposed for the terrible tragedy it is.
I have been fighting the Courts since 2001, as I was the victim of false allegations of sexual abuse and domestic violence. As a result I get access to children is about 9 hours a year even though I have irrefutable evidence that I was a gentle & loving Dad who had strong and healthy bonds with both my daughters who were 8 & 6 before this nightmare started.
The Court is not interested in the truth and has never given the chance to put my side of the story, which will clearly show I am a victim of a huge miscarriage of justice. I have tried to get the Court to address the blatant parental alienation of my children however two court appointed psychologists will not address the issue as the New Zealand psychology board does not recognise the condition. I can prove the Court has acted with malice, negligence and maliciousness however with a corrupt judicial system I have no show of obtaining natural justice. I suppose the 14 criminal convictions and 6 permanent protection orders will remain around my neck until the hateful system finally slams in the final nail.
My kids cant understand it as they tell me they love me heaps and just want to see much more of me. However when they go to see the lawyers which involves a two hour trip in the car they are programmed and poisoned by their mother, aunt, and maternal grand mother to say that they do not want to see Dad. These are the same people who orchestrated the lies of sexual abuse and domestic violence and I am powerless to do anything about it. I have had to face criminal charges due to false allegations every year since this major depressive episode started and appear again at the end of the month.
My health is suffering and doctors tell me that a stroke is inevitable even though I am on huge doses of heart medication & warfarin for a man who celebrates his 46 th birthday in May.
The justice system must listen to the damage of PAS and I will do anything that I can to get this condition recognised by the sick system. I am proud to be part a effort to try and expose this evil. i am in the family court tommorrow .
I will distribute flyers etc. in the Courthouse - politicans - lawyers - etc.... as they must acknowledge PAS and it harmful consequences for children and alienated non -custodial parents . |
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I am the step mother of a twelve year old girl who is the victim of parent alienation syndrome. She and our whole family have been suffering for so many years because of her mothers " hostile aggressive parenting".
My husband and I had no idea that there was actually a name for this until recently. We were commingcomming end of our rope literally until we learned that we were not alone. This child is like a prisoner of war.
She is exibiting if not all of the characteristic of PAS. She has been on a downward slide since her mother most recently has been forcing her to not have contact with us. We get to see her evry other weekend, for two days. That is not enough. We have been seeing her every day for the past three years, as we live two blocks away from her.
Before that it was every couple days. But every time her mother gets mad at us for something she takes away the "expanded parenting time". We have been to court and they are wll aware of her behavior but dont want to get involved, so she is being given even more power to inflict this abuse because it is being validated by the authorities.
The situation is getting worse over time. Everyone has been telling us that she wil realize the truth when she gets older but that is so wrong. It will be too late by then. She is like a victim of " stockholmes syndrome". She is very defensive of her mother even though the relationship between the two of them is bad. Her mother calls her a "fat ass, whore, ugly, c---, i hope you die, and i wish you were never born". The child has chronic asthma and her mother has 10 cats 2 dogs and also fosters animals through animal welfare. She was posting very innapropriate pics of this 12 yr old child on the internet and we filed a police report, contacted protective services, but they told us the pics were not pornographic so there was nothing we could do. This is the reason that we are now not allowed to see the child.
She lives so close and when we drive past her she is not even aloud to wave. She is not allowed to call us... nothing. So she went from comming over evry day after school until her mom got off work to now not comming over at all. We dont know where she is most of the time. We do know that she is without adult supervision for those two hours every day. She has been in trouble almost every day at school, exibiting very bulliing behaviors like trapping other grils in the bathroom, name calling, etc. These behaviors are her way of having SOME control since her life is so OUT OF CONTROL. Her mother lets her talk on the phone and stay on the computer for how ever long she wants, she has no bed time, no homework time, no structure at all. She is failing every class right now. We have pleaded with the school, protective services,& the police to help us. We hear the same thing from all of them, "does she have any marks or bruises?" And they say that if she has no marks there is nothing they can do.
The sad thing is that they dont understand that she does have marks and bruises but they are on the inside. Those injuries take the longest to heal. She is being destroyed by the one person who is supposed to nuture and protect her. The job that a parent is supposed to do is promote a happy healthy life for them, to teach them to love and respect others, to strive to do well in school and everything in life. In the work force if you are nto doing your job you get fired. These parents should be FIRED. and they should be held accountable for the ABUSE that they have inflicted and they should be exposed. The world needs to see them just like the pedifiles,rapists,murderers, and all other criminals. These people are murdering the souls of there own children. They need to be STOPPED. |
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The worst divorces present cases of false claims of abuse, neglect and violence. My divorce had all three as well as fraud in the inducement of the marriage itself. My Orange County, California Court has refused to do anything thus far to help me. The matter is five years of litigation old and I have succumbed to the pressure. I recently acted like a man and said something inappropriate. This was very unlawyer like of me, but very dad like or typical.
My vulgar language came as a result of having real estate stolen on a lies and kids used as pawns to get the real estate. These lies included the false arrests of myself and my father. My typical behavior should not be used to create fatherless children. How dare my father and I break the door down to my own house after she refuses to let us in-is what my exwife thought. Months later, we are both arrested for this insult.
Retaliation is so easy with a VAWA in its present form. All she has to do is report DV, I'm arrested. Because there is a prior, all future DV calls are treated like a need for a SWAT team. Law enforcement gets no reward ever for stopping DV fraud. They have no time to prosecute for fraud or perjury. Or so they have told me. |
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I have been divorced for less than 1 year and seperated for almost 2 years. The decision to divorce my ex-wife was not based on our relationship so much as my relationship with my daughter, as many say they "stayed together for the kids." I wanted my daughter to see her father and mother happy and not miserable and therefore made my decision.
My ex-wife has since used my daughter as a pawn in the ugly aftermath to gain financially while in the meantime withheld my daughter from our once close loving relationship. Visitation has really only begun since the divorce was finalized. Some examples of her attempt to alienate my daughter from me and present me as a bad father me are as follows:
1. attempted to move from New mexico to Kentucky.
2. Have called to speak with my daughter and was told "she is in the shower." Upon arriving at her house within 2 minutes, found my daughter playing in her room and unbathed. The bathroom was completely dry.
3. Applying for free lunches at her school although I pay $1105 a month in child support and $400 a month in alimony and my ex wife lives with her parents. She pays no utilities or rent and she works full time as a medical assistant and EMT.
4. I recently went to England and sent my daughter 2 post cards. She never received either one. Everyone else received their post cards. They live in a very small town of less than 2000 people and I spoke to the postmaster who remembers getting the post cards and putting them in their mail box.
5. I have had to get Tee ball schedules from other parents because I was denied copies from my ex-wife.
6. I had to get the school to forward me report cards because my ex refuses to provide them. Most importantly for my daughter is that she has a seperate folder for mom and dad to relay information.
None of the other 19 kids have this problem and is embarrasing for my daughter. I could go on and on about phone calls and other activities, but these are just some of the examples. It has caused heartache and dispare for both of us. I just wish the madness would stop. It is sensless, hurtful and unnecessary. I just want my daughter to have two healthy parents who can co-parent and raise a well adjusted child, but parental alienation destroys any possibility of that.
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My story is horrific as it goes against all morales and values therefore, going against our Constitution.
1. Not providing materially or financially.
2. Quit Employment - Intentional
3. Flee Florida owing over $10 grand. - FELONY
4. Kidnaps children - FELONY
5. Alienates children with assistance from government. - APPROVED!
My story screams out the truth about the mafia type system we live in and points out the sickening corruption in the very officials who are duty bound to protect us from being victimized. Angry? You Bet! Dissapointed? Very much so. Today, my children and I are at war and do not speak. The hope is I understand TRUTH. The day it becomes acceptable to teach children to disrespect and dishonor and to allow injustices to go unpunished is the day we the people of our country are no longer free. My continuous quote throughout my entire ordeal "KNOW YOUR ROLE - AND FULFILL IT"
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I am a targeted NC mother. I live in Missouri and my 10yr old daughter lives in Houston. I can not even begin to touch, what PA has done to destroy my relationship with my daughter. I found your site, and I want to do WHATEVER I can, my close friends and family too, to help my daughter and all other children and parents. I have a fire in my belly that has finally pushed me to speak out and bring awareness to PA. Missouri is still behind on PA, but my case is now in Harris County, and I am ready to fight for my daughter!
thank you |
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In March 2003 my now ex-husband reluctantly left after I asked him to give me some space & needed to get well after a severe depression as we were about to lose our house & become bankrupt & he had refused to take responsibility of this & left me to sort it along with the care of the children. Other issues were involved too.
Within a month of him leaving he refused to have any contact with the children whatsoever & told me to give him a good reason to see them. As months went on the situation did not change with refusals from him to attend any school functios or parents evenings. These actions affected my youngest son & suffered severe anger problems as a result. His school has been very understanding of the situation & he has since settled well although it has been a long road for him.
My attempts to tell his father about his behaviour was doing to his son was met with hostility & blame to me saying that he wouldn't have behaved in this way had I not told him to leave. Now it is March 2006 & the situation remains the same along with keeping them short on child support with no way of contacting him about this. We have gained strength from this & am determined for it not to let it affect my children adversely & have tried to carry on with their lives & mine as normally as possible. Any anger I have felt has since been replaced with sadness/pity for their father as he has totally lost the love & respect of 2 beautiful children as family is all there is at the end of the day. Thank you. A-UK |
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My story: I know of a child who sees her father once a week for one hour. The parents are in the process of a divorce. The child is 5-years old and she goes into different behaviors prior to visits and after visits. Visits are supervised at a center. When with her father, she hugs and shows affection for her dad. She has a good time during visits. How do you explain her behavior before and after visits. She is mean to everyone, (her little sister and her mother). She has nightmares and screams at night just prior to visits. Her little sister was potty trained, now she wet and soil her underwear. Is this a sign of parental alienation? |
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I have three children from three different mothers. My first child was taken out of the country in 1971, against court orders and no one would help. That child found me in July of 2000, 29 years later. There is no relationship.
My second child disappeared with her mother in 1980 against court orders and no one would help. I had a total custody order and the county sheriff refused to enforce it, I have never been able to find that child, she is now 30 years old.
My youngest child is 13 I have a total custody order for her the courts refuse to enforce. She is at the beginning of stage three PAS. I want to get her into counseling but can not get the courts to help. They have refused to hear my motions and have violated no less than 18 state and federal laws to prevent me from having custody and have allowed her to be moved 2200 miles away. I obtained a total change of custody order from the original decree court by default when the mother had been properly served for the hearing and refused to appear.
I filed the complaint with the original court because the child had been move seven times without any notice and from state to state in less than three years. The original court had a contract in the original divorce decree to maintain continuing jurisdiction. The issues were 6 separate issues of contempt of the original custody visitation orders. Even by vacuum jurisdiction the original court was the only court that could exercise subject matter jurisdiction. The enforcing court admits it did not have subject matter jurisdiction in the orders it wrote, refusing enforcement of the orders from the original decree court.
The enforcing court stated " I do not like that law and will do as I see fit in my court" and refused to register the foreign judgment, the new order was dated January 05,2004 and the enforcing courts order was dated January 09,2004. Court ruling March 19,2004, upheld lower court ruling, in a hearing to register a foreign judgement, Stating that nothing was proven against the mother, that hearing took place in the original decree court, the enforcing court has no right to question the ruling of the issuing court and is requird by law to enforce the change of custody order. I can prove this courts action was willful and malicious and no body will help.
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Although I had restraining orders against my former attorney spouse, preventing him from injuring our daughter; when I insisted they be enforced, I was put on Supervised visitation, because my con continued talking about his abuse, (and the court-appointed psychologist stating his abuse must be addressed), the judges thought otherwise.
So I wound up "sentenced" to Supervised Visitation. That's when I discovered the woman running the center, was a con artist. Three cover stories later, it's been well reported, and yet Nothing changes. I haven't seen, written, or spoken to my daughter in Five years. She is fully alienated, as is my son.
The judges know family court and the custody industry is all commerce, all the time. The mantra being:"this is in the best interests of the children." There's an attorney and therapist around every corner. |
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My story is perhaps a typical one of two parents splitting up and one being angry with the other. Although i can see the anger and the differing effects divorce has on different people, i cannot excuse the behaviour of my ex wife when it comes to mentally abusing myself and the use of children as pawns in an emotional battle she has instigated.
I have been told i am a loser, a joke, and many names you couldnt print in any publications! all in front of my 2 children. I have been physically assaulted, had an iron,drill,pots and pans all thrown at me,kicked and punched, all in front of the children.I have been threatened, to the point where she has said she would lie in front of court judges and tell them i have been both mentally and physically abusing her and the kids. I have been told by my children that mummy says daddy doesnt love them any more,doesnt care about them, doesnt want to be with them, all of which i have to rebuild faith and trust with my children again,and every time i see them. to see the heartache on there faces as mummy continuously berates daddy whenever she picks them up from my place is terrible.
All i want is for my children to grow up with a healthy love for both parents, but the picture of what they know as "daddy" is being painted a very different colour by the childrens mother. My ex wife has new partner living in the house with her and the children, and still continues to verbally abuse me in front of them as they tell me all about it when they are with me. Even in front of other parents at school, calling of names and trying to belittle anything i say. I am made of strong stuff,and will not let her get to me. But,i'm afraid the children have to live with the images of there mothers anger towards me forever. which is something they shouldnt have to do! I have a new girlfriend now, who the children enjoy being with when were all together, and have great affection for.
She has my 100% trust regarding being with the children, as my ex wifes new live in partner must also have with her. We have been threatened, abused, and the latest trick was to send me a text message accusing my gf of being a child molestor!! My solicitors act on things when i ask them but the abuse is continuous and doesnt seem to ease. And finally, perhaps the most frightening of all, is my ex wifes job! She carries out all this angry abusive behaviour, emotional abuse of the kids and continuous alienation of me, when she in fact gets paid by the national health service to manage cases of child and adolescent mental health, and is reponsible for the counselling of such patients. How can she carry on like this in her private life and provide the sort of help that young adults and children need!?
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My Story : My children used to come and visit their grandparents and family in the USA every summer since they were born in 1992 & 1996. Then we got divorced and the ex-wife decided to cut all ties and since 2001 the children (now 13 & 10) have not been able to see their grandkids. She lives in Spain. Please let her know that the children are suffering from PAS and need to be with their father and grandparents and family. She has changed the tels. at home so I can't call the kids. Spain is the worst offender of letting fathers be with their children.
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I met my ex-wife (X) in 1991. She was divorced with a two year old daughter (A). She concentrated a lot of effort bad mouthing her first husband in front of A, and suggesting that A would be happier not seeing her father regularly. This alienation worked and A had very limited contact with her father.
X would tell A that she could go to see her daddy or she could have "more fun at home with mummy". X would invent special occasions to entice A to say that she wanted to stay with mummy and not visit her daddy. Unfortunately, her father let this happen and did not exercise or insist on his rights.
Now years later X is trying to alienate my own children against me.
I married X in 1994. Our first daughter was born in 1995. Things very quickly changed. X became very moody and sometimes violent toward me and the children.
When A was about seven she received a small dolls set for Christmas from my brother. A few days after Christmas X was annoyed that A's bedroom was untidy so she smashed the toy under her foot in front of A and warned her that if the room was not kept tidy she would do the same to the other toys. This is just one of hundreds of examples.
The violence was also physical and A was often slapped and pushed around.
In 2001 a neighbour complained to Social Services about X hitting A in the face. They interviewed A and the police were called. X received a warning for her behaviour.
We had two daughters of our own.
Our relationship deteriorated to the point where I would fear returning home from work and would find any excuse to take the children out for the day.
A few years ago I discovered X was having an affair. I left her and after a difficult period we divorced. She moved her boyfriend into my house and she still lives with him. I recently discovered he has criminal convictions for offences against young girls, but that is in the hands of my lawyers. In the meantime I see my children almost every weekend. It is difficult as I have to rely on their mother to make them available and the UK legal system is so anti-male I am struggling to protect my children. I gave X enough money to buy a house for her and the children (and her boyfriend!) and every month pay a lot of maintenance. My children stay most weekends but their mother often tries to make excuses to stop my access - it is only by standing my ground and putting my childrens interests first that I continue to see them. I have to put them first even if their mother is intent on using them as a means of getting more money from me.
About 9 months after we separated I met a girl who turned my life around. She had two children from a previous marriage herself. All the children get on brilliantly.
'A' chose to come to live with me (and my new girlfriend). She could not forgive her mother for her violence or continue to live in the same house as her. She recently moved out into her own flat (she is now 17) and I see her most weekends. I continued to support her as my own child for all that time but also made sure she built a relationship with her father.
I do not know what the future will bring but I will keep fighting for the protection of my children. I know there are good and bad mothers and fathers but the legal system (and UK political parties) are so anti-male they are creating an atmosphere where children are at increased risk. Unless we put a stop to the unjust situation and we allow children to be loved by both parents equally we will continue to see an increase in antisocial behaviour, insecurity and fear where none should exist, increasing in turn divorce, arguments and further levels of abuse.
It is important for alienated parents to stand their ground and fight for their rights, not for themselves but for their children. Children need to develop in a loving environment and both parents owe it to their child to put their personal feelings to the back and put their children first.
I tell my children I love them every day and they know that I will always be there for them despite their mothers evil comments.
I urge all parents in similar situations never to give up. We owe it to our children to make a change for the better.
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 This is a card from my oldest daughter. She loved me then, and
I know one day we will get to see each other again and she will remember how
very close we were.
Please Dear God, let my daughters remember how much I love them, and if you
can, please let them remember how much they loved me. I need them so much, my
mother needs them so much. They are so loved and wanted, and I pray that you
will one day reunite this very strong family. |
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My daughter (now 10) was taken from me by her mother when only 2yrs old, giving the Courts absolutely no reasons at all other than that she didnt feel like letting me see her after we had seperated.
Being that her mother and I were never married, I stood no chance at all in the Courts and so in my absence the case was put in her mothers favour and I was instructed by her solicitor to stay away, eventhough I had done absolutely nothing wrong at all. I posed no threat to my daughter nor her mother, I was not aggressive nor was I dangerous in any way, yet I was taken out of my childs life without any reason at all. Y
ears later my daughter made contact with me and we share what little time we can when such time allows without her mother knowing but it hurst my child, as it does me too. The law does not support single fathers at all, regardless of how well we do in life, its never good enough.
Sexual discrimination is an understatement. It has caused many years of pain and my child has not been able to share her growing up with her father joy, pain, love, pride in learning, growing, changing, all the things a child goes through in life and needs to know that BOTH parents love them very much.
Please advise further on how I may re-open the case or how I can approach the courts in attempting contact again BEFORE my child gets too old to care. Meanwhile my child and her mother have moved away and I dont even have the right to know where they are. At least I want to be able to let my child know where I am so that in time SHE will be able to make contact with me if she so desires.
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My husband left his family nearly three years ago. On the night he left, his wife vowed that he would never see his children again. In front of him, she told them that he was an evil, evil may who had broken his promise to be with them forever.
Since then, he has had no contact, despite going through the courts. The children (11, 9, and 6) still say they hate him and never want to see him again because he broke his promise to stay with them. Before he left he dealt with most of the parenting tasks, took them to school, etc. spent every minute when he wasn't working with his girls, because he had no relationship with his wife, it was all he had. He has written to his daughters every week since leaving, a total of 130 letters, in reply there has been nothing, no response except when his ex objected to the content, eg, he had a holiday and had fun. Parental alienation syndrome??????/Is the tip of a huge iceberg. |
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My story is one of a young boy alienated from his father and his grandparents on his mother's side not to mention the rest of his family who love him more than life.
I am the maternal grandmother. My daughter got involved with a very controlling man when my grandson was three years old. My daughter and my grandson moved in with this man and he does not want my grandson having anything to do with his real father, grandparents on both sides, cousin, Aunts and Uncles. My grandson was born and raised with all of us and now he only gets to come over every month or two. When he is here, he loves it. He is allowed to be a child. He was never allowed that with my daughters boyfriend. He cries when he has to go back to bootcamp. This child is going to be 11 this year.
I can only wish he were old enough to leave his situation and be free of this man. This year he will probbly fail his grade in school. He has been in 4 different schools and is in grade 5. He is an only child and a very lonely child as has been mentioned to me by people who know his situation at home. I want so badly to free him but I don't want to take him from his mother. Being a grandmother there is nothing I can do to help him.
The agony just goes on day after day. he is constantly told that his father is no good and that he is useless. I can only imagine the pain that this child is in with nobody to help him. Please let there be something that we can do for him? There is so much going on here., much too much to tell...Thank you for listening...E |
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My son is 5 years old, I have attended the Family Court a total of 40 times. I have spent £18,000 and my parents an additional £5,000. I now see my son regular (44% of contact time).
Fortunately, we have always enjoyed our contact time and have a fantastic and loving relationship. However the parental alienation continues. I am known as "****" my first name and not "Dad" when my son is living in his mothers home with her partner. My son's grandad and Grandma are called vicious names I do not wish to repeat. My son is not allowed to call me "Dad" in her company. He must obey his mother and call her partner Dad instead and refer to me by my first name.
My family and I and friends never say anything bad in retaliation. My mother has written to the school and asked that I am not provided with my son's homework on collection by me. I had to return to Court in order to change this. The mothers partner says "have you been with the nasty people" and tells my son he would like to hit me in the face. The mothers sister is supportive of the actions.
My son can't understand why everybody on one side of a family hates me and his paternal grandparents and uncles. I have provided just a few examples, unfortunately the list is added to, every week.
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Where do I begin? Some 20 years ago I lost my dear eldest son at the age of 7 years in a road accident. I thought that nothing could compare with the loss and distress of that. That was until I became a victim of parental alienation.
I am now going through that anguish and pain again by being systematically and deliberately seperated from my youngest son,also now 7 years. Our relationship has gone from a close and loving one to where he now appears frightened of me and will not now come on contact visits or speak to me on the phone.
It is now two months since I have seen him anywhere except on the doorstep of his mothers home. He is very nervous when in my precense, his mother is always in attendance giving instructions on behaviour and supervising.I am told he does not wish to see me as he is frightened of me. We had a succesful relationship for 4 years after divorce initiated by his mother. Overnight stays, holidays and trips out were fun, and he was always the first out the car when I collected him at the lonely car park his mother insisted we met. He often told me that he loved me and missed me as our visits were only fornightly and involved a 250 mile trip to see him.I used to tell him to look at the moon before he went to bed and remember that the same moon shone on me also.
Attempts to phone were often blocked, his mother preventing him from speaking to me even when I could hear him crying in the background "I want to talk to my Dad" Very often he would come to see me when ill, and I looked after him as best I could in car in winter over 100 miles from my home. Things started going wrong last year when his mother moved into her current home and got a regular job, my role as baby sitter now not needed. It started with a gradual cooling off and apphrehensiveness,then one evening when I went to collect him he ran away from me shouting " Its the nasty man" and hid in his mothers car.This came as a great shock to me and no explanantion was offered. As his 9 year old sister continues to see me, and has been treated no differently I cannot see that anything I have done could have caused this.
She tells me that on some occasions when I rang , he has been encouraged to "moon" at the phone by his cousins. Mum has told them that I cannot cope with seeing both of them at once, and they have been taught to call me "Spud" His mother is well practised in this, she is repeating a succesful formula that seperated her sons from previous marriages from their fathers also. I am at a loss as how to deal with this, I have tried the school, the medical authorities all of whom are indifferent if not totally unsympathetic.I cannot and will not go to the courts for both financial reasons and also for my lack of faith in getting justice there.
This event has scarred everybody it has touched, the biggest loser is my son who is now without a fathers love. I fear for his future and can only see my dear son being destroyed by the cruelty of whoever within his mothers family hopes to profit from this appalling form of child abuse.
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My husband left his family nearly three years ago. On the night he left, his wife vowed that he would never see his children again. In front of him she told them that he was an evil evil man who had broken his promise to be with them forever.
Since then he has had no contact, despite going through the courts. The children (11,9 amd 6) still say they hate him and never want to see him again because he broke his promise to stay with them. Before he left he dealt with most of the parenting tasks, took them to school etc, spent every minute when he wasnt at work with his girls, because he had no relationship with his wife, it was all he had.
He has written to his daughters every week since leaving, a total of 130 letters, in reply there has been nothing, no response except when his ex objected to the content, eg, he had a holiday and had fun. Parental alienation syndrome???????/Is the tip of a huge iceberg |
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As a father, I could not have predicted the emotional bonding and protective attitude I felt followng my daughter's birth. And probably as many parents, I believed my daughter was the best and most beautiful child above any other.
In the context of our divorce, and subsequent custody arrangements, an increasing pattern of mistrust developed between myself and former spouse and in-laws. The pattern of allegations aimed at the exclusion of my daughter from my life also escalated as litigation continued from an inability to care for an infant, to mild physical abuse and finally to what is known as "the atomic bomb" in PA circles, sexual abuse.
And my daughter's love for her father would first become a "secret", before it would be slowly extinguished. Once the bomb had been dropped, this became for the alienating parent, along with her supporters, justification for my daughter to hate, hit, spit on and kick myself, my current spouse, professionals and any others deemed supportive of a relationship between my daughter and her father.
Conversely, the promotion of such behavior was actually condoned by "professionals" supportive of my ex-spouse and maternal grandparents. My daughter also made her own contributions to the denigration that were undeniably her own inventions - the very definition of parental alienation syndrome.
My daughter would go on to be hospitalized in a psychiatric ward with "ideations of suicide", and then would disappear with the assistance of an "underground" when loss of custody became imminent for her mother. What could be worse for a child than incest? Perhaps a child who never was actually abused, but who must believe and promote the lie to maintain an unhealthy psychological bond with an alienating parent.
While I'll never give up hope that one day my daughter will come to understand that I unconditionally love her, I pray that "my story" will help raise awareness so that a future parent-child relationship may be saved. Life is just too short for hatred.
B
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